dear Rudyreed, thanks for replying back to us.
From what you have said is that you were the key couple you and your husband helping your family out as best you could, well that's something which would be very difficult for most people to do.
What concerns me is you have or had cancer and I wonder how you are coping with this now.
Having your mother moved into a nursing home is something that is so hard to cope with, because years ago she was the one that guided us through the good and bad, fed and clothed all of us but now she is incapable of looking after herself, this is really heartbreaking, because the same happened with my Mum and it is demoralising and very upsetting.
I wonder whether you were the only to be 'power of attorney', and if so then this would create a barrier between you and your family, even though you were trying to help them out, and siblings can be very sensitive and get their 'nose out of joint'.
The money you have lent your sister, well maybe you won't get any of this back, as it's no different than my (ex) brother in law who we also lent thousands of dollars to but will never see a cent returned, so could this be a reason why see doesn't want to see you any more, just in case you ask for a return.
You were very generous, and unfortunately this isn't recognised by those who needed it, not now or in the future, and we wonder why we would ever try and help them if we knew this was going to happen, personally I would have said no to my wife's brother, but he was only communicating with my wife and not me, and now realise how stupid we were, but the horse has bolted.
This is something that you will find hard to accept, but the more you try and contact them, with no return correspondence is going to eat away at you, I know myself and I understand, but what a husband, married for 27 years where the both of you love each other, you're got a gem here.
For them not wanting to contact you at the moment doesn't mean that they will in the future, so keep that hope in the back of your mind. L Geoff. x