I am so lost at the moment. I have recently been diagnosed with, and medicated for depression. I am busy, we are all busy, I really need to find a counsellor but Dr Bulk Bill was none too interested in that. I cry a lot still, but the gnawing and churning of angst has settled. I work, I run a house with an active 12yo and 16yo and everyone thinks I've got it all together. Except my husband. We've only been married since April. He has chronic pain caused from an episode of shingles not caught soon enough and resulting in post hepetic nueralgia - like a tooth ache in your ribs, 24/7. So painful a shirt hurts some days. He is only high doses of nerve pain medication. He too has recently been diagnosed with depression and is having lots of suicidal thoughts. He is going back to his doctor again this week for a change of anti-d and referral to a psychologist for some cbt for his pain and also to address the depression. His situation is far worse than mine. He has just shut down. We have little emotional intimacy. We used to talk and talk and talk for hours. Now we can be completely silent for hours. If I cry he doesn't notice. If I do all the chores he doesn't notice. If I dress for him he doesn't notice. I am so lonely and have lost my best friend, lover and husband. I have gently tried talking about some of this, but he just is in a world of his own. We both work longish hours and I know it helps him to be able to exercise too but I do all the shopping, cooking, washing and cleaning and am overwhelmed. I don't know how to help him or help myself. I fear for our marriage.