None of us enjoy discovering what is contrary to our mind's belief. Rejection is different to that where one is shunned or disowned. Whatever transpired just wasn't working for at least one of you (I say 'at least' because I think you also had misgivings about following through, despite your tenacity - could this have contributed a bit?).
That's fine, and no reflection on either individual in the quest for satisfying one's complex emotional needs - your objective simply didn't match his, whatever that was at the time. Maybe he was looking for more romance, some 'deep and meaningful', or some kinky stuff! Either way, leaving the scene was (for him at least) the easiest solution - respect that he imposed no harm beyond bruised pride and begin to feel more empowered from the experience. By the time you return to work, this will be a distant memory, or you might even share it with a laugh at the whole thing, better for rising above it.

firstly, there is nothing wrong with you as a person.

on being a virgin... there is no sign on you that advertises this fact. There are likely others when you walk down the street that are the same as you. Nor does it indicate what sort of person you are. I would suggest if someone struggled with this matter it is there own insecurity and not yours.

you said people are always telling you what to do or what you should do... suggestions or advice? if you follow the advice do you feel about that? does it stop you being yourself?

my last question is (and sorry about the questions) is that if you are given all this advice and you try to apply it ALL, do you get lost in your mind and thoughts and not in the actual doing and being in the moment?

If the advice is good ... maybe smaller goals and just keep practicing. People who make YouTube videos don't get it right the first time. I have been in a few meetings recently and each time I have been getting better. Or so I am told.

And it is OK to make mistakes ... only human. You and me.

Hope some of this helped.

• Hi smallwolf, to answer your post: I get overwhelmed with thoughts of what I think I should be doing based on advice and suggestions I hear (although there has been times where my older brother has/ will yell (or perhaps it is his tone that he uses) at me for things so I don't know whether to call it advice or suggestions) and I get upset with myself for not being there. When I hear people tell me something whether it be advice or suggestions it won't usually affect me in that moment but if it is something I have heard numerous times in the past like that I'm too quiet - its no good, you're shy, you need to put yourself out there more, etc) it builds up in me and I forget that I am on my own path and journey, which a lot of the time I get frustrated with because I wish it would hurry up because I hate hearing judgement (maybe I am too sensitive to criticism, I do have low self esteem issues/ confidence. I am also kinda scared of making friends/ relationships, getting close to people as they will see my imperfections and in turn tell me the same feedback and I then get overwhelmed in anxiety). I think at times I also get lost in my mind and thoughts and not in the actual doing and being in the moment after I hear this advice/ suggestions. I think at times I interpret this advice/suggestions/ feedback wrong and catastrophise) I usually have a pattern where I will hear something (particularly from my older brother who uses a strong tone (whether he is angry or upset or whatever emotion, I can't keep up with him) where I will then get quite distressed, be hard on myself for not doing what he expects of me and then I will speak to a close family friend about it and he tells me that I am on my own path/ journey and that my personality is who I am, everyone is trying to find their way in life).

Sorry for the long winded response, but I am trying to reflect back and work out what usually happens that stirs up the anxiety for me as I am write. I am not sure if I have answered your questions or explained myself well.

hey. You don't have to worry about whether you have answered my question. You have thought about what was asked and had a reply which was/is very helpful.

I cannot remember whether you said you have professional support or not. (Know I can check the other pages!) But... I am somewhat sensitive, less than I used to be. I have been getting help for a number of years in the area, and other things. Of course I would get homework etc. One of these was a talk by Brene Brown. Not the one she is known for. In this talk she mentions having a small sheet of paper with the names of those people whose opinions matter. If your name is not on that list... if someone says something judgemental and their name is not on the list, let that comment slide through to the keeper.

There are other tips and tricks I can tell you about if you are interested. These may or may not work for you. And if you want to keep chatting ... I am here listening.

...or maybe he thought he'd have to work too hard; or that things would get complicated with an inexperienced person; or, just possibly, considered how you might feel if this was only a fling - Don Juans are common in the pubs.

An uncle of mine once pointed out to me that the departed lover is of no consequence, and the issue we battle with is merely the loss of pride - that's the bit that really hurts; but eventually we recover only to do it all over again... a little wiser, perhaps.

Hi. I noticed in one of your replies you were wondering if therapy was helping. I don't know how long you have been seeing your therapist or how frequently and not asking either ...

My own thoughts are that it is a slow and steady progress to make lasting change and there can be other factors to take into consideration. For example, how are you feeling now compared to same time last month or last year?

Of course only you know whether or how well it is working.

My therapist said that I have made progress and there have been times where she has reminded me of the things I have been doing/achieved now that I certainly wouldn't have had the balls to do 7 months ago or even last year. She tells me to trust the process. I just wish it would speed up but perhaps I could be doing more things to help with that like joining a sporting club purely for the purpose of interacting with people, I hate sport, never been good at it but hey if it helps me to grow who cares what I like, i can try throw myself into it. There are parts where I feel it has worked but they are only minor and when I told my friend that I feel it is working she just gave me a disgusted look. It is hard to say therapy is working when my circumstances and people tell me otherwise. I have spoken to people that have been in therapy for years and they tell me that it takes about 12-18 months before you see a difference. There was a time where I did ask my therapist of how she thought I was progressing and she said I was making great progress. I haven't seen her in a month and am due to see her again next week. I have been seeing her on a fortnightly/3 weekly basis for the last 7/8 months

I get good days and bad days, some days I wish I could end my life/ disappear over this mistake which sounds a bit extreme. There was a misunderstanding on my part, which caused me to text the guy, he took that differently, he replies back sarcastically, at the last minute of me finishing work he replies and blocks me. Yeah i feel hurt I wanted to stay friends with him, not for sex or anything. Perhaps it was for the best that I am no longer in contact with him and forget him, sex would've lead to more complicated things anyway i feel if it did happen. I just wish I understood what he meant / understood the situation better and he in turn didn't block me. I wish there was a way he could read my blog posts here so he could see where I was coming from. I didn't mean to upset him, but again that is the self indulgent part that I should be avoiding. I am also inexperienced to relationships so I don't know any better and of what to think. I have been trying to get into meditation daily (trial and error to see how it works out for me) and trying to be a bit kinder to myself (hard thing to do/ unlearn) and change my attitude on life. Its hard, i particularly struggle on my days where I am not at work and have more time spare, I have been trying to fill my days but hard with ever impending lockdowns and restrictions. How do I get out of the cycle of self blame and come away from it with my head held high?