I'm new here. I've been reading the posts and find so many of you going through the exact same thing as me. However, my dad is the one with NPD, and aside from myself & 2 of my doctors, almost no one in my life either believes me, or they just don't know what to do. Like many of you that grew up under an NPD parent, it wasn't until I was in my early 40's and talking with one of my drs that I realized he was NPD- and severe. He ranks a 9/10 on the scale.
My mom, I have come to realize, is a major enabler. Her co-dependency, especially as I have helped her to see what he is, is so frustrating to me. Many times I think she likes being a doormat or else is so starved for love, she will take anything. After some time & thought, I realized she was also raised in an NPD home, but wo the benefit of realizing this when she was young.
What's worse, my youngest sister, who is in her 30's is showing signs of having NPD, too.
I guess I am writing because on top of all this, I have a chronic illness - which has recently gotten worse, forcing me to stop working and have to move in to a home my parents own (a tiny country home) while they stay in the city. I used to make a good living, but between my needs, sharing a flat for a while with my sister, and being forced to pay about 1/3 of my income towards my family's various bills - I am broke. What's worse, even though I am not technically with my parents, I am "under their roof", so they have many expectations from me, which my body just can't function with anymore. It's not depression - I have some complicated neurological and pain issues. Still, my dad shouts at me to get up and move - that I am just lazy, fat, ...
What's worse, even though my drs know what is going on, and I tried a modified "no contact" rule, I find that because there is little to no understanding and acknowledgement of what victims of those with NPD go through, we have ABSOLUTELY no legal, minimal medical, and no social support. Yet, we suffer EVERY POSSIBLE type of neglect and abuse there is. How can that be?
Has anyone else in the community have a similar issue? How did you work through it? I feel so alone. I try to keep active as possible given my limitations.My cats are my life. But I am much too young to be a disabled "cat lady" living with my parents. How can I help myself get out of this situation (medically, I may have better days, but the damage is permanent and will likely get worse - stress definitely worsens it)?