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Forums / Relationship and family issues / Just dont understand.

Topic: Just dont understand.

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. need a helping hand
    need a helping hand avatar
    3 posts
    28 September 2014

    Hi everyone.

    I guess this is the first time ive ever told anyone or let this out from under my emotions but i need help to know if im just over thinking things or am i just being blind sided by it all. Ok here goes. 

    In the past i have had 3 propper relationships where i was gutted when it ended. The first one i was only young and my partner had to move cities so we had to end it. It was the best relationship i have had as she was so faithful trusting and loving.

    The second one was a little up and down where she had slept with my friend and we were on and off a few times. The biggest one was when i went out for drinks with her by my side and with my other mates. She ended up sneaking off to chat up one of those other guys at a bar across the road. Im sure everyone knows what other type of guy im talking about... the one that always has the best of everything and everyone is talking about him. Anyway the night didnt end well as i left quite upset and ended up putting my hand through a window and spent the night in hospital. Once i had left hospital i went home to clean up to find out that my partner that didnt come see me in hospital ended up going home with that guy and having sex with him. I was gutted as i was dedicated to her but she seemed to take it as a joke. A few months go buy and we start seeing each other again but this time we had moved towns. We had to amazing twin girls together and i thort we were perfect. I had proposed to her and we were planning our wedding. I was with her for about 5 years alltogether but towards the end she had started becoming distant and didnt want much love from me. then one day i had seen a txt on her phone when i was getting dressed. It stated " yeah babe i sent ya my sexy pics, i sent them to your email so your partner wouldnt see them. pow!! i was hit in the gut as this was one of her guy friends that she was close to!! so i confronted her about it and she came clean. she told me that they had been sending pics back and forth but it wasnt serious. i mean why would you do this is you have kids with someone!! to cut that short she ended up sleaping with him while i was at work. so that ended our relationship and devistated our little girls. i was so hurt i didnt know what to do. Stupidly of me i went back every now and then and we had sex but we never got back together. Months past and there was another girl who i had knowen for ages that wanted to catch up. She wanted me just like i wanted her and soon we were dating

  2. AGrace
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    AGrace avatar
    1214 posts
    29 September 2014 in reply to need a helping hand

    Hi need a helping hand,

    Welcome to Beyondblue, and thank you for sharing with us on the forums. I'm not sure if your post is complete, or whether there's some points or questions missing from the end? It appears that you have left the mother of your daughters and are now seeing someone new. Are you concerned about something relating to the new relationship?

    I am glad that, despite the pain it must have caused both you and your girls, you were able to realise that the relationship with your ex was very toxic. No one deserves to be treated the way you were. It sounds like you are a really decent guy, and yet this ex of yours had your doubting your worth.

    Are you able to elaborate a little more about your current concern? Or were you just needing someone to listen?

    I hope that we will hear more from you.


  3. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    16228 posts
    30 September 2014 in reply to need a helping hand
    hi need a helping hand, I too hope that you can take up your post again, because it seems to be so unfair for finance to run off with another guy, especially after having twin girls. Geoff.
  4. need a helping hand
    need a helping hand avatar
    3 posts
    1 October 2014
     Well with my new partner at the time it wasn't good we were together for a year and she was very protective over me. I couldn't go to the shops to get milk without being questioned if i took a little longer or if i had a missed call from family and she demanded to know who it was. she was like this for a few months and then towards the end of the relationship she fell pregnant. We ended up breaking up as i couldn't handle her constant thinking i was cheating on her and fighting and constant breaking up with me. So i had to start again. With no money no car nothing as she had it all. I had to go to court for my girls and with what happened it was just doing my head in. I would lay in bed at night and wonder why me?? I had to fight to try and see my son but 2 years down the track she msgs me saying that he is not mine and that she had slept with other people. Wow again!! like why?!! this hurt even more!! but for me to keep moving forward i just kept it bottled up. For the last two years i started dating a friend that i new for many years. we have been best mates for along time and well i was the happiest i have been for ages!! she was everything i wanted. We decided to try for a baby together but after nearly 9 months we lost our son. I felt numb. I was upset but i managed to hold it still kills me everytime i think about him. Not long after this i had found that while she was pregnant she had gone and seen her ex and another guy. I didnt mind that she did but what hurt me was that she lied about it. Now its like oh no its happening again. She is pregnant now and only have a month to go but i have found more lies and more guys that she has talked to. And talked to i mean flirt. She deletes txts from one guy and even parts of msgs to her friends. She has even msged one of her exs and said to him that she misses him, she wants to run away with him. i havent told her that i know all this as when i do find out about stuff and ask her she always gets defensive, angry and it turns into a fight. She bluntly tells me to my face that she is never going to leave me and that there is no one else that she want but why does she say all this to other guys?? im so lost i dont want to loose another child or start over again. I love her so much but its killing me inside!! i just dont know what to do!! sorry for the long post.

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