dear Big Koot, thanks for coming to the site and would like to offer you a warm welcome.
I am pleased that Tony ( WK ) has replied back to you, as it's been 2 days since you posted your comment, and can I say that posts do get lost in the system because if there are many people posting means that your comment is pushed onto page 2 or maybe page 3, so what this means is that someone has to go looking for unanswered comments.
There is always a great problem when a person just goes on with 'me me' and nothing else, and have no consideration for anybody else, it becomes boring and monotonous, because they only care about themself.
You have built up the courage to leave him, and personally there is no point in going back to him, it would only become worse, because he would think that he is the dominant one.
I agree with Tony that your kids will soon be able to leave, but I know that living by yourself at first is never pleasant, but now I have been single for 10 odd years, and now realise that I couldn't live with anybody now, but I have friends who I see, and my days are always kept been busy, although I don't work, but live happily with my little dog, so maybe you could get a dog or a cat that's always there when you come home at night, they are great company that can fill the lonely spots you may have at nights and on the w/ends.
You can put in a doggie door which are cheap to buy so that if you do want a dog it can come in and out by itself. L Geoff. x