hello B-B, there have been some great words by those above and when a healthly relationship or marriage does have a good sexual life by the two of you then everything else just goes along so well, you can disagree and agree which doesn't cause any problems, so your communication between the two of you is how you want it to be, but as soon as one particular issue becomes an issue then problems do begin.
Sex is a lovely way to satisfy the connection, it makes a happy way to share most things in the marriage, but when it is stopped or pushed away by one partner, and in this case your partner, then many problems start to evolve, disappointments, arguments begin and questions why.
My wife (ex) usually initated sex before we got married, but once we were then the brakes were put on, and 9 times out of 10 her answer was always no, so I gave up asking.
It does frustrate you when he says no, because then you start to doubt yourself, am I getting older, I am putting on weight, or doesn't he find me attractive any more and even though he says no do you actually believe what he is saying.
I do wonder whether his whole mood has changed and if you believe so then he could be suffering from some type of depression, I can't diagnose this myself, but if you were my sister then that's what I would say to you, because with this illness it certainly stops any urge for someone to want to have sex.
Ask him to do the K-10 test, which will give him a score of whether or not he is suffering from depression, I do appreciate that he may say 'why do I need to', but it's probably good for anyone to test themselves at different times, even if they are feeling great, because many times people cover up their depression by putting on a brave face, making out that all is OK. Geoff. x