dear Lonely L, I want to thank you for disclosing your story to us, and do apologise for the delay in someone replying to you, in which WK has done and has been through the wringers himself, as I suppose this applies to me as well.
It's great that one person in the party can blame the other one without any justification, because it's 'takes two to tango', but in my now defunct marriage I was always the one who had the problem, so all the criticism was aimed at me just as it was for you.
There is never anyway that we can change their thinking, and even today when I see or talk to my ex, nothing has changed, so I don't argue with her, and I'm sorry about what I am going to say, but it certainly belted the guts out of me.
I can't tell you what to do, but it's a process that WK and myself have been through, and now it's something that you won't be able to turn around, because she's back dating, and this was also what I hated when she said that she was living with this *********, and had lied to me about having any sexual relationship with him, it's a very unpleasant journey, but there is something that will change as time goes on.
Your daughter will start to begin what is a going to be a definite change, and that she will hate what your wife or I'm not if you have been divorced or not, anyway she will loathe seeing what her mother is doing, and hopefully want to move in with you.
There is some comfort in the long run, although it's not there for you at the moment, but please keep talking to us, and I hope that I have not upset you too much. Geoff.