My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years and in the past 5 years we have had more ups and downs than you can imagine. From emotional affairs, lying about alcohol and money, debt collectors turning up on the door step - you name it, he’s done it.
About 6 months ago I found out he had kissed another woman - to me, that is cheating, he says it’s just a kiss. He was cold and distant for a few months before and I should have known something was going on. He didn’t come clean, I found messages from this married woman / they met on a “chat site”. On our wedding anniversary too - classy!
I have been working on forgiveness because he said he wanted to make it work. I admit, I’ve been paranoid about his whereabouts and constantly ask where he is and who he is with, but it’s because I’m hanging on by a thread when he isn’t home.
On the weekend we had a disagreement and he has told me he doesn’t love me at all, has no feelings for me and he was leaving me because he doesn’t want to try - he just wants an easy relationship and there is no attraction at all.
I am beyond devastated. I love this man more than anything and I don’t know what I’ve done. He can’t communicate with me, he has anger issues, is an alcoholic and no friends to help him through. He says he hates coming home because of me. I am not perfect and I don’t profess to be, and I want to go back to how we used to be.
We spoke last night and I stooped so low as to beg him to try and fix this, but I’m so scared he only agreed to shut me up and because he has nowhere to go.
I don’t want him to be unhappy, I love him more than I should given everything that has happened. How do I make him want to love me again? Anyone had experience and know what I can do? I don’t want to admit it, but am I kidding myself that this is just another speed bump in the road that we can get over?
After being together since we were 17, he is all I know and I feel like my insides are being torn apart by the second at the thought of losing him.
He won’t do counseling - he thinks it’s a waste of money, and his family are no help.
I want him to have a wonderful life so any advice on how to help him with his issues and to help me make him fall in love with me again would be helpful!
thanks, from a ‘desperate fulltime working house wife’