New to this. After being married for 13 years and single for 10 more I recently fell in love with a colleague at work.
I didn't think I would feel this kind of love again and I would safely say the feelings surpassed that with my wife.
I've been feeling insecure in the relationship (which I've never felt in any relationship before). Despite the fact she has repeatedly stated her love for me she is generally what I'd consider a poor communicator - basically sharing information on a need-to-know basis - only what she thinks I need to know. I've clearly expressed my hypersensitivity to not being in the know as a result of my ex wife's affair. She's fiercely independent and seems to think that just stating her love covers all the other stuff off.
ive found this so unbearable in the past that I've broken things off - TWICE!
To make matters worse, her previous relationship was with a woman, she's 16 years younger than me and when i was required to apply for my job recently and decided not too, she did and was successful.
I've been seeing a psychologist off and on for the last 10 years and recently have started taking antidepressants as its all too much.
My 'girlfriend' and I are now dating to see if we can make things work but I have very strong feelings of resentment and envy.
I've never been jealous or overly envious. I'm very aware that I'm giving her a hard time due to my feelings and my history but as she doesn't really share a lot I keep finding myself questioning the relationship. My ego is really taking a bashing as a result of her doing my old job.
I don't know if m feeling negative because of the circumstances, because of her communication style or if it's just my baggage. I also wonder if I'm just plain scared of being hurt having not been in love like this for 10 years.
I've typically been very confident, positive and motivated but these last few months I just want to crawl under a rock.
I've really lost any sense of perspective even though I have so much to be grateful for.
i really want to make the relationship work but the unsure nature of it feels so much like the state I was in when my wife and I were trying to work things out that I just can't help but be negative- I'm really fearful that I'm going to ruin this relationship but at the same time I worried that maybe Its not really a healthy relationship and I just can't see the wood for the trees.
well that was a download