Online forums

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please complete your profile

Complete your profile

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community.

Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Forums / Relationship and family issues / Seperated and lost

Topic: Seperated and lost

  1. That Other Guy
    That Other Guy avatar
    125 posts
    13 April 2022 in reply to Witchy76
    Everything you're describing sounds like abuse to me, and if I was you, I'd be looking for an exit strategy. Are there still kids living at home? Are there friends who would take you in while you sort things out?
  2. Witchy76
    Witchy76 avatar
    26 posts
    13 April 2022 in reply to That Other Guy

    Hi no kids at home just me and my fur babies.
    which are hard to walk away from as they are elderly cat and dog.

    Yeah it’s abuse I know.
    is controlling etc just hard and no I have no friends or family to help sadly

    Ali

  3. Witchy76
    Witchy76 avatar
    26 posts
    17 April 2022

    Happy Easter 🐣 everyone

    cheers Ali

  4. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    16466 posts
    18 April 2022 in reply to Witchy76

    Hello Witchy, one thing you can not be prepared for is the 'unpredictable' and if or when it may happen, such as going into his daughters bedroom, that's her domain and I'm sure she wouldn't be too pleased at all.

    This is where trust begins to break down.

    Good luck with the lotto ticket.

    Geoff.

  5. Witchy76
    Witchy76 avatar
    26 posts
    18 April 2022 in reply to geoff

    Hi geoff

    i didn’t win lol

    thanks I have saved some money, started packing things and have started collecting things I need like towels, sheets etc

    Once I find something I’m sure I will be on a tight budget.

    still trying to keep walking etc

    cheers

    Ali

  6. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    16466 posts
    18 April 2022 in reply to Witchy76

    Hello Ali, sorry about the lotto, sometimes we need to win first division just to get our money back.

    Are you able to hide these sheets etc at another person's house or can you put them to one side.

    Geoff.

  7. Witchy76
    Witchy76 avatar
    26 posts
    19 April 2022 in reply to geoff

    Hi geoff

    i can pack them away in a black tub , I don’t want to burden anyone with my stuff.
    I don’t really have anyone anyway to take it to.
    Ali

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Witchy76
    Witchy76 avatar
    26 posts
    11 May 2022

    Feels like I’m in a big black hole with no way out.

    😞

  9. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6830 posts
    11 May 2022 in reply to Witchy76
    Hi Witchy76,

    Thank you for sharing an update with us here. We can hear you're feeling really lost. Sharing here is an amazing step to have taken. We hope you can see it as a step towards feeling better.

    We’d really encourage you to give our counsellors a call on the Beyond Blue Support Service. We are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636, and the team are really good at talking people through moments like this and working out options for support. If you’re feeling suicidal or are having thoughts about harming yourself, it's important that you take immediate steps to keep safe. If you feel unable to keep yourself from acting on your thoughts about suicide or self-harm this is an emergency and you need to call 000 (triple zero).

    We’d also recommend reaching out to 1800RESPECT to get support with this, and maybe talk to them about safety planning. You can contact them on 1800 737 732 and they also have webchat here. They are experts in supporting people who are experiencing abuse and will listen in a kind, understanding and non-judgmental way.

    We’re sure we’ll hear from our lovely, supportive community soon. In the meantime, here’s a few things you might like to look at: We are here to support you and you are not alone. Thank you so much for sharing here.

    Please feel free to share a bit more and let us know what is going on for you, and what might help, if you feel comfortable.

    Kind regards,

    Sophie M
  10. Witchy76
    Witchy76 avatar
    26 posts
    11 May 2022 in reply to Sophie_M

    Hi thanks

    I’m ok, very bad week I think, on top of everything else happening I’m going through menopause.
    so that just adds to low moods. I’m on patches for that so hopefully it sorts itself.

    I have a therapy session with my psychologist Tuesday so I should be ok till then. Just had a bad day. Feel like I’m living someone else’s life.
    not my own. Out of sorts is probably the word.

    im trying to walk everyday so my head stays clear. Today I drove 2.5 hrs each way with the intentions of staying at a friends house, I had a cup of tea and drove all the way back again.
    trying to tell myself that I deserve to be happy and I know I need to get away from the husband who mopes around making me feel awful.

    so hard,

    thanks Ali

  11. WaterFront
    WaterFront avatar
    105 posts
    15 May 2022 in reply to Witchy76

    Hi Ali,

    Sorry to hear you've been having a worse week this week. If you don't mind my saying, I wonder what it was that changed your mind about staying at your friends place. Sophie_M made some good suggestions about places where you could reach out for additional support and advice and it might be worth contacting them to have a chat. Believe me when I say, I know how hard it is to do anything when you are feeling so down though for myself I know it helps if you can bring yourself to do it. Gives you some direction or strategies. Or just being able to talk about it helps.

    I hope the psychologist session helped and you are feeling a bit better now. You do deserve to be happy. Here to talk.

    WF

  12. Witchy76
    Witchy76 avatar
    26 posts
    16 May 2022 in reply to WaterFront

    Hi waterfront it’s a shame we can’t swap numbers to talk more.

    yesterday my dog was dying in my arms, she was 12 , good age for a mini schnauzer, but I didn’t want to leave her alone she was in pain and had soiled herself. So I bathed her with the help of my ex, we dried her and I cuddled her while he rang around to find a vet to put her to sleep. Then she started bleeding and it was just horrific, so vet said be there at ten, get there as quick as possible probably 35 min drive, I tried to just make her comfy and being close to me I hope it gave her some comfort, anyway we gets there and when vet comes ,the ex comes around to help me get her out of the car, grabs my ruby but he didn’t give her back.

    he held onto her and proceeded to breakdown .

    and the rest was history . I’m sitting here this morning a little bit miffed .

    my 16 year old chihuahua died probably 2 years ago and he never gave me a cuddle and cried more then me. He apologised and said he regrets not giving me a cuddle but yesterday history repeats. Is it wrong that im a little annoyed.
    they were both my dogs .

    thanks for listening

  13. WaterFront
    WaterFront avatar
    105 posts
    22 May 2022 in reply to Witchy76

    Hi Ali,

    I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your very much loved Ruby and hope you are holding up okay. It's just heartbreaking when a pet passes away and particularly in such circumstances. I'm sure she was calmed and comforted by your presence. I don't think it is wrong for you to be a little bit annoyed. You needed emotional support and comfort from your ex and this wasn't entirely what you got. It sounds like he was dealing with his own grief and forgot about your feelings and what you needed. From your previous posts, maybe a pattern he has.

    Talk again.

    WF

  14. Witchy76
    Witchy76 avatar
    26 posts
    23 May 2022 in reply to WaterFront

    Hi waterfront

    thank you. Yeah was horrible.
    yes I’m seeing a lot of things a bit clearer now. His behaviours etc

    things are making sense.

    I was thinking when we first met we stayed at a caravan park in Roxby where he was working, I had a shower late at night, so being a woman and dark I was on alert anyway, so he decided to jump out of the bushes and scare the poo out of me. Enough to make me cry.

    and got pleasure from scaring me. Not normal behaviour, didn’t see it then I’m seeing it now.
    ah well, we love and learn

    he got very angry at me the night, raised voice etc so nothings changed there. I have a few options in the works as I’m moving out. I just have to wait n see.

    still save save save , I have quite a bit saved so that’s a start.

    thanks Ali

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up