Hi there Georgie. Girl and welcome to our forum!
Congratulations in reaching out with such an expressive post that makes it very clear how you are feeling.
Sophie has made some excellent points with her post and suggested some support contacts - I'd like to add just a few points based on my own family experience.
It seems part of your life goal has been to measure your progress on having kids before 30?
I have two lovely daughters and my great desire in life was for them to deliver me with grand kids at an early stage. Years passed and so too did lots of hints from me! This despite one of them getting married when she was only 23 yrs old.
Lo and behold, they both fell pregnant when one was 36 and the other 38, and both now have two children. So I have four grandies from 6yrs down to 3yrs. Life is better then great and no one is worrying about being too old in the future etc as life it too short not to enjoy the present.
I am reminded of the Buddhist saying 'When the student is ready, the teacher will appear'. What it means is that things often happen in life for the most unexpected reasons, but when they do we look back on them and realise that yes, maybe we were just not ready before!
You mentioned that for the first time, you now have a steady almost full time job - congratulations as that sounds like progress to me! If you are able to do that job really well, it will almost certainly lead to better things in all sorts of ways. I wish I could see your future as it will contain great things for sure. Why do I think this? Both my daughters have friends in their 40's with happy and successful lives who often talk about how hopeless they felt in their 20's, before they 'got their act together'.
So like that song 'Que Sera Sera' Georgie, the future really is not ours to see. But what you are doing now is realising things are not what you want and working are working your way out of it. That is a great first step! try to let life happen and focus on being the best person you can be right now - the future will then look after itself.
All the very best with what you are doing and thanks again for reaching out.
Very happy to chat some more. The Bro