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Forums / Relationship and family issues / Things aren’t looking good

Topic: Things aren’t looking good

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Sallyanne2
    Sallyanne2 avatar
    17 posts
    16 January 2022
    Last year my husband let me know he wasn’t happy in this relationship and possibly wanted out. We’ll just over 12 mths on it doesn’t seem to be any better. He has financially abused me all of our married life which makes me feel worthless, unappreciated, undeserving and not equal in this relationship. I haven’t worked since having kids, they are grown and left home now. He has been the sole supporter and he has always controlled the money. Long story short I have to account for everything I want or spend. I’m in a position to now buy my mothers small place which is big enough for me but I’m unsure if the social security payment would be enough for me to live on and pay the bills. We would have to sell our house but I have have money left from my mum after she passed so that’s how I can afford to buy it from my siblings. I wouldn’t have any cash left but was wondering if I could live on social security payment till I was retirement age. I’m 59 now. Is it enough to get me through. Just needing some advice.
  2. tranzcrybe
    Valued Contributor
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    tranzcrybe avatar
    711 posts
    16 January 2022 in reply to Sallyanne2
    While property can be a good investment, living in it limits you to only the capital gain (less expenses) which also carries the risk of capital loss.
    Are you intending to move in with or without your husband?
    If the latter, and you elect to part company through amicable divorce, you also have a claim to existing assets and superannuation.
    You might consider a financial advisor/attorney to assess options re any investment planning/decisions about your future before you commit yourself further.
    1 person found this helpful
  3. Juliet_84
    Valued Contributor
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    Juliet_84 avatar
    713 posts
    16 January 2022 in reply to Sallyanne2

    Hi Sallyanne,

    I’m sorry for the difficult position that you find yourself in. It is a bit of a difficult one to answer without knowing your full financial situation. If you sell the house and with your mothers money, do you think that you will have enough money to purchase your mother’s house outright? Or will you still have a mortgage that you need to service? Even if so, you will need to pay rates and electricity and car payments etc. If it was me, I’d sit down with a pen and paper and a calculator and write down all of your projected expenses (phone, groceries, internet, council rates, water rates, electricity, lawn maintenance, car etc), how much you get from social security, and any mortgage repayments that you may have. Is the house a 2 bedroom or more? Would you consider having someone live with you to assist with rent and bills? Alternatively, would you be willing to get a part time job to help you with cost of living expenses?

    1 person found this helpful
  4. geoff
    Life Member
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    geoff avatar
    16213 posts
    17 January 2022 in reply to Sallyanne2

    Hello Sallyanne, if your husband wants to out of the marriage, then a settlement has to be made, whether he buys you outright or the house sold, then you are entitled to what share you believe you are entitled to, so you may need legal aid to help you as your husband has financially abused you and could take advantage of you.

    With the money, your mum has left you and what you get from the house being sold, then you will be able to live in the place where your mum lived because at the moment buying a place on small interest rates could be cheaper than renting.

    If you are able to pay your utilities fortnightly by CentrePay, say $25 for gas and $25 for electricity makes it much easier to pay the bill, it comes out of your fortnightly payment when you organise this with Centrelink, rates and water can also be paid off, easing the burden of having to pay the whole account.

    You can also apply for a concession discount for the majority of bills including rates, it's not much, but does help.

    Hope you can get back to us.


    1 person found this helpful

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