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Forums / Relationship and family issues / Wanting to Leave my Parnter - But how?

Topic: Wanting to Leave my Parnter - But how?

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. WeAllNeedHelp
    WeAllNeedHelp avatar
    18 posts
    1 April 2021

    Hi all.

    To get the the point, I want to leave my partner. So much is going through my mind. How? When? Basically, Right now he doesn't have a job, he has no income, and he's using his saving to assist in bills, but I'm on my last thread. I'm beyond trying to fix the relationship. he doesn't know how I feel. I feel so guilty for the breakup to come which leaves him with no where to go. the lease for the unit we're living in is under my name. I have places i could stay while he tries to find somewhere, but how is he supposed to?

    Feel like such a bad person, yet i need to be happy. he's holding me back and i want to spread my wings and go places. we lliterally do nothing together, its just say to say life.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5929 posts
    1 April 2021 in reply to WeAllNeedHelp
    Hi We AllNeedHelp, 

    This sounds like it is a very stressful situation, thank you for coming to the forums for support and to share you experience. Relatioinships are difficult to manage and can sometimes lead to anxiety and uncertainty.

    If you would like to talk to someone about this we reccommend calling the beyondblue phoneline on 1300 22 4636 or if you prefer you can access the webchat here https://online.beyondblue.org.au/Webmodules/chat/InitialInformation.aspx.

    Thank you for being a part of this community and for taking the brave step to seek support.

    Kind regards, 

    Sophie M
  3. Guest_3256
    Guest_3256 avatar
    324 posts
    1 April 2021 in reply to WeAllNeedHelp

    Hi There.

    It sounds like you are going through a really hard time. Relationships are not easy especially if you are not feeling like your partner is able to meet your needs.

    Might it be worth while for you to seek some support for how you are feeling to help you navigate your relationship. I am sorry to hear that you want out but may be it might be best to stop, pause and try to focus on positive energy. You cannot rely on your partner to make you happy, only you can and if he needs your support, it is only healthy to speak to a clinician about what your issue are and how to resolve them.

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Guest_206
    Guest_206 avatar
    87 posts
    1 April 2021 in reply to WeAllNeedHelp
    Hi there,
    It sounds like you're in a really hard space. You have compassion for your partner but at the same time you're adults and you're not responsible for him. if the relationship isn't working out it sounds like it's important that you move on. It's kind of you to consider living somewhere else for a bit to give him a chance to get on his feet, it definately doesn't sound like you are a bad person!
    I hope posting here helps guide you with a way forward.

    X g
    1 person found this helpful
  5. Juliet_84
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Juliet_84 avatar
    570 posts
    1 April 2021 in reply to WeAllNeedHelp

    Hi weallneedhelp,

    Theres no easy way to do these things unfortunately. I think the best thing to do would be to sit down with your partner and tell him how you feel, at least that way he will have fair notice and it won’t be a blindside for him. That being said, like Guest206 said, you’re all adults here and it’s not your responsibility to fix everything for him, he is an adult. Is he at least trying to find work?

    don’t let him try and convince you otherwise etc, you will just need to be fairly matter of fact about the whole thing

    1 person found this helpful
  6. WeAllNeedHelp
    WeAllNeedHelp avatar
    18 posts
    1 April 2021 in reply to Guest_3256
    Hi all, Thank you all for posting. I see someone regularly, and I saw my regular counselor who I get along with and went through it all. At the end of the day, the relationship isn't moving forward and it hasn't in quite a while, and regardless of him trying to look for work or not then unfortunately it will never grow to where I want to be and we both want different things. I will miss him and this makes me feel and ask 'Am I doing the right thing?' , though I NEED to because at the end of the day, he is holding be back from where I want to be
  7. Guest_3256
    Guest_3256 avatar
    324 posts
    6 April 2021 in reply to WeAllNeedHelp

    Hi WeAllNeedHelp.

    I want to let you know that what every you do, it's your choice, however, know that you are the only person who is holding your life back. Take your partner out of the equation and look at your own life for what you make it. You are the master of your own destiny and relying on your partner for the way you feel is difficult not healthy.

    Learn to put yourself first, put your heath above all because you are a great and brilliant person.

    What ever your journey is, live it and own your issues. :)

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