Hi Mads33, welcome to the forums.
Your story is remarkably relatable. I'm bi as well, and I have only ever dated a man. I have to say, it's tough when you're someone who has more of an in-between life experience. It's very easy to divide people into 'straight' and 'gay" and make them appear to be completely seperate things. But, the reality is, neither are very binary.
Being bi, there is a lot of pressure on both sides. From the lgbtqia+ side, there are often expectations not to appear 'straight'. From the more straight side, it's expected that you are straight and nothing else. Those unsaid expectations exclude a ton of people. Like for instance, asexual hereromantic people. Or, straight trans people. Or, bi people who appear to be in a 'straight' relationship. You are far from the only one under that pressure.
For being more connected to the bi side of yourself, maybe try getting involved in your local community if you can. If your area has a Pride parade, you could march in it? (its fun). Maybe there's organisations or events on Facebook around? Essentially, anything that gets you talking to other lgbtqia+ people in real life would help I imagine. Bi people are a dime a dozen honestly, the chances of you finding someone who is in your shoes is not impossible. Seriously, it's just the demographics of it.
It's absolutely possible to be bi and comfortable being with whoever you choose. You don't need to, "catch them all" to be valid if you get my drift. These are very normal feelings to go through, I believe talking to some lgbtqia+ people in real life may help you. Doesn't even have to be a deep talk, just sometimes seeing people live their life happily is enough to calm feelings inside <3 This will pass. You are strong. You can make it through it.