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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / came out as gay and am dating a girl but i feel so anxious

Topic: came out as gay and am dating a girl but i feel so anxious

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. katelia_89
    katelia_89 avatar
    1 posts
    16 December 2020

    {for context a lot has changed in my life recently: i came out as gay to my parents, they didnt react the best but not the worst either. things at home got stressful everyday, so i moved out. now im struggling with that whole living independently situation so i might move back in}

    Back in about July i got Tinder as i became more confident with the possibility that i like girls. So i wanted to start dating to see what it would be like. The dates were fun, but it seems that i kept putting myself in a friendzone because i feel this massive anxiety in my stomach whenever i sense something intimate-y is about to occur.

    This caused so much frustration because i know i get turned on by girls but when im actually with one, it really scares me.

    Currently ive been dating a girl for about a month and a half - i have loved getting to know her and i am happy to keep seeing her, but i still get crazy anxious about things getting intimate, every morning i wake up with anxiety because i have no idea what im doing, and i feel this terrible sense of guilt.

    I don’t know if this makes sense, so ask questions if you need, but if theres anyone out there who kinda gets this or has dealt with this in the past, i would love to hear some tips.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9207 posts
    16 December 2020 in reply to katelia_89
    Hi, welcome

    Guilt is likely the core issue for various reasons mostly expectations from others.

    Other than that anxiety you're experiencing is no different to when I dated decades ago as a heterosexual.


    Beyondblue topic guilt the tormentor


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