Lillylane thank you for your kind words of support.
I have tried so hard to be understanding with my family and my wife because I know it's also very hard for them.
But unfortunately everyone seems to forgotten very quickly how hard it's been for me for the last 50 years.
I have learnt that when people say that they support it doesn't always mean what you were thinking it would be.
I am desperately trying to get my wife to look at the right information about what gender dysphoria is and what it means.
She's jumped so far into the future and has got fixated on the things that she can't do to support me.
She's worried about not being able to take me clothes shopping.
This is a long long way in the future right now.
We resolved some of the issues but I am unsure about the future together right now.
What said yesterday was though she said she would support me for now but not sure about the future, three week's later and we're on verge of seperating.
I asked her didn't the last 40 years we spent mean anything and was it worth fighting for.
I feel like I am being punished by family and my wife for doing something bad.
I know it has hurt them but again everyone is more focused on the physical changes and me presenting as female.
There have been no changes as I haven't even started any treatment of HRT.
I made little changes by starting electrolysis to remove facial hair and started looking after myself better.
I have lost 10 kgs and feel great about the changes.
The only other little thing I have done to help with the dysphoria is to sleep in a pair feminine knickers which I wear when I am at home.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon.