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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / confused and hurt

Topic: confused and hurt

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. gibby3794
    gibby3794 avatar
    72 posts
    5 August 2014

    I am inlove with my best friends boyfriend, I live with them and her family, I finally got the courage to tell her after two years on Saturday night and he overheard, I had already come to the conclusion that nothing was going to happen ever but since his found out my chest hurts and my head has been spinning, I completely broke down last night when I was told he found out, I don't know what to do, I seriously don't know why I always do this to myself.

    I feel really broken right now...

    and when I got home my friends mum told me im not allowed to drink anymore, ive been using it to numb myself..

    what do I do??

  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9163 posts
    6 August 2014 in reply to gibby3794

    Hi Gibby,

    Do you feel embarrassed?.  Dont blame you.

    Several events happened in my youth that I still recall on occasions and feel the same embarrassment as I did then. 

    I asked a family friend if I could date his daughter. She was 17 me 27. He said no, that she was too young. Two years later she married a 30yo guy, she was 19. go figure.

    And a girl that lived across the road from us. She was 21, me 16. I asked her out. She rejected me. Everytime I showed my face to the street I felt pain.

    So, you feel love and attraction for this person and everyone has found out. Sometimes it is better to get these things out in the open and sometimes not. I dont think it was wise to mention it at all but now that you have - put it down to experience and accept that most people do these things and have regret.

    Dont be too hard on yourself. after all you are only being human.

    Good luck

  3. gibby3794
    gibby3794 avatar
    72 posts
    6 August 2014 in reply to white knight
    nobody cares or judges me or anything, he does feel a bit awkward now but that has to be expected, in a way I am glad its out but at the same time I didn't really want him to know
  4. AGrace
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    AGrace avatar
    1214 posts
    6 August 2014 in reply to gibby3794

    Hi gibby,

    You mentioned he overheard you. Has he actually spoken to you about it, or have you spoken directly to him? It might be a good idea to at least outline that you have no intent on acting on your feelings for him.

    Your friends mum told you, you aren't allowed to drink anymore. Although I find it unusual that you see her as an authority figure, perhaps she has a good point? Turning to alcohol to numb ourselves from emotions is never a good idea. Are you getting support with your use of alcohol?

    We often say things we regret, but hey we're only human. It won't be the last time, try not to buy into the embarrassment it's only a feeling - don't give it too much power over you. I personally think it's good that it's all out in the open - it might be the start to healing your heart.

    AGrace

  5. gibby3794
    gibby3794 avatar
    72 posts
    6 August 2014 in reply to AGrace
    firstly I live with my friends mum my friend her bf (the one im inlove with) and yeah I do listen to her because I have heaps of respect for her and I do know she only wants what is best for me so I do listen, but in saying that I am going to have 1 or two tonight seeing as shes at work hahah, no we have not spoken about it with each other but he knows im not going to try anything as his 1 straight, 2 my best friends bf and ive lived here for 8 months now and known him for 3 years so he knows I wont try anything, and his gf told me that, I don't want to talk to him about it as I think it would make it more awkward
  6. gibby3794
    gibby3794 avatar
    72 posts
    7 August 2014 in reply to gibby3794
    Hi grace just re read my comment and noticed it looks a bit rude, I wasnt actually being rude just a bit of wrong choice in wording which I didnt pick up on last night, if you did read it as me being rude sorry it wasnt meant that way, I was trying to divide up the comment but done it the wrong way hahah

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