Thank you for the validation by bumping my new thread.
I have researched a lot of different labels groups of people have recently invented to describe themselves. Bi-gender is one of those lesser known terms that does actually apply to me. I try to avoid labels, or only use those that I think my audience will understand. I will think more about labels, inventing a new cliche for describing myself could be quite helpful.
I think most of my mental channels of internalised transphobia have been shaped by those 'fun house mirrors,' although I rationally acknowledge their warped opinion is born of their own painful transition experiences.
I accept that I am non-binary, as far as an umbrella term for Gender Fluid, and because my male switch is so close to neutral, that it itself is also a non-binary gender. I also prefer she/her pronouns, despite being non-binary and while often presenting in public in a masculine way for my personal safety.
I own a lot clothing that is Gender-neutral to some extent. Unfortunately jeans, T-shirts and runners, even if designed to fit women's bodies, still feel masculine to me.
Clothes that feel feminine to me include blouses, skirts, dresses, and most jewelry. So when I present as a woman deliberately in a subdued natural way, it is still more extremely feminine than what the average woman of my age would wear.
When I am at home, I mostly dress in what I feel is a fairly neutral way, that actually screams non-conformity to most people. This could be wearing a skirt with a mens business shirt, or a blouse with jeans. I also don't shave regularly, so my at home look often also includes a short beard and pony tails. Conversely when I go out, my hair is either in a male topknot, or a more mature feminine style.
I would like to wear the Non-binary label, and my unique take on neutral clothing, proudly in public, but past experience doing so has been traumatising. There remains a huge gap of ignorance about Transgender, Non-binary and Intersex people.
The other Amab Non-Binary, or Gender Non-conforming people that I have met, are probably more unique than myself, and are usually protected by very muscular gender diverse allies. I am feeling more vulnerable now that I have lost some of my allies that protected me.