Hi there BeeHut
Welcome to Beyond Blue and ‘well done’ to you for providing your post. Short, to the point but quite a bit of info there as well. Let me have a go at breaking your post down a little.
Your first sentence says a lot – basically it stands out to me that you aren’t sure. Then run with that – you’re not sure and that’s ok.
What’s not ok is for you to feel awful – no way should you be feeling awful. You mentioned about not being honest and being selfish. Now, this just cannot be – again because you simply aren’t sure.
And just let me say, that if you are or if you aren’t – you’re still the product of your parents – their child and for all intents and purposes, they should love you, care for you, support you, unconditionally not matter what.
Now these are just my suggestions – so do with them, whatever you see fit. But I believe that until you’re sure, I really don’t believe that you should be telling anyone, if you don’t feel right about doing it. I don’t see the point in saying, “I could be gay”.
The problem I see is: “How will you know?” I’m sorry, as I have no answer for that.
Can I just say though, that with how you’ve expressed yourself in this post, you have a wonderful caring nature about you – in that you are extremely concerned about loved ones and how they might feel, etc. That tells me you have a really genuine and loving nature.
I honestly don’t know if my post to you has helped – maybe in a small way it might have – I also hope that other posters may join in with a couple of better suggestions of their own.