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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / I don't know how to talk to my parents about therapy for my gender

Topic: I don't know how to talk to my parents about therapy for my gender

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. bug_l
    bug_l avatar
    1 posts
    4 October 2020

    I came out to my parents a bit over three months ago, and while they said they accepted me and all that they don't really call me the proper pronouns, name, etc. Of course I've tried to correct them and I brought it back up recently but nothing seems to work. My parents (mostly my dad) continue to call me stuff like their "daughter", "good girl", or "little girl" and whenever I hear it I want to cry so I feel as if I need someone to talk to that isn't someone I have a strong connection to.

    I'm scared about bringing it up since they seem like they can be a bit on the transphobic side and I don't know how they'll act once I bring up therapy; I feel as if they'll ask me or many questions and it'll just be too much for me to handle.

    How do I ask?

  2. geoff
    Life Member
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    geoff avatar
    15082 posts
    5 October 2020 in reply to bug_l

    Hi Bug_l, and welcome to the forums, it's good you have posted a comment.

    Whatever your sexual denomination you have a feeling for is your choice, it's impossible for a parent, friend or family member to try and think they are able to change how you feel because it won't happen, even though they feel a responsibility for you, it only aggravates the situation.

    You may not have to do this temporarily, as your doctor can give you a 'mental health plan' which entitles you to 10 Medicare paid sessions, and they will be able to help you in regards to coping with your parents.

    You can also contact Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 up to the age of 25 or perhaps 'gendercentre.org.au' where they have a form to download for counselling.

    Please let us know how you get on.

    Geoff.

  3. romantic_thi3f
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    romantic_thi3f avatar
    3051 posts
    5 October 2020 in reply to bug_l

    Hi bug_l,

    Welcome to the forums and thanks for joining us. It sounds like it's been really hard and it must be really frustrating when they're not using the pronouns you prefer.

    You started off saying your parents accept you- do you think maybe this is enough for you to go to therapy? I'm thinking as a step one, it could be having a therapist and getting on board with that, before having them work to make changes in the way they talk to you. Often people go to therapy for things such as anxiety, so you wouldn't even necessarily say that this stuff is why you're going to therapy. Depending on your age, you may even be able to go without your parents knowing - if this is something that feels right for you.

    I wonder if it might also be helpful to share with them some resources about how to change their language or to understand what you might be going through? While asking questions might be overwhelming, it shows me that your parents really do want to understand and make it right.

    I hope this helps,

    rt

  4. Guest_3370
    Guest_3370 avatar
    3 posts
    5 October 2020

    Hi,

    This a tricky one ... And have been in the same boat ... Try to be solid ... Validate yourself when others are slow to come on board ... Pronouns are important but insignificant when compared to your amazing identity ... We are valued, we are valuable ...

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