Hi Even Heroes All and welcome to the forums.
It will be good to see how you feel about Croix's reply. He raises some solid questions and ideas.
My gut feelings about your wife while reading your post was "lashing out in defense" and perhaps "feeling rejected/no longer good enough".
The very fact that your wife was open to the threesome and accepting of your need to experiment and find yourself is such a gift to you. Many would not be able to do this. Myself for example... One of my hard limits is involving others.
I wonder whether your wife is hurting and lashing out? It is not right that she is making fun and making you feel uncomfortable in front of her family. But I wonder if Croix has a point and perhaps she is trying to ask her family for help? I think often people make jokes to say how they truly feel and test how people respond while being able to say they were just joking.
Do you think she might be afraid you will decide you are gay not just bisexual? Perhaps that you will leave her when you meet a man you want to be with?
There are also some vital questions to ask yourself (and then your wife)....
Was the threesome a one off agreement in your mind?
Had you discussed this as a sexuality experiment or a lifestyle change for you as a family?
Do you want third parties in your relationship? If so what are both of your rules and limits? What do you not want to happen?
What happens if you have children? How will you manage this as a couple? What will you tell your kids?
What can be discussed with others? What is private only for yourselves?
What does your wife need to be reassured she is the partner you commit to?
This question is cruel I'm so sorry but important to think hard about...
It happens all the time... People wanting passion and experimentation and to be themselves sexually... but also wanting to control their public and professional image. Not out themselves so to speak.
What reassurance can you give your wife so she knows you are not using her?
I agree that counselling is a very good idea. It could also help to seek out information online (as a couple) to see how other couples reassure eachother.
There is no shame in being bisexual. No judgement here either we all have needs and desires. I admire deeply how you have had the courage to ask not only your wife but also this community. I hope others are able to reply soon and support you.
I hope you and your wife can find a way to balance both of your needs.