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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / Purple conflict (Trigger warning: sexual abuse)

Topic: Purple conflict (Trigger warning: sexual abuse)

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Proud Purple
    Proud Purple  avatar
    2 posts
    27 November 2020
    I've been married to my wife for 19 years. Before we got married I had relationships with both sexes. I knew I was Bi from a young age but I decided I wanted a family so gave up part of who I am to have children. A few weeks ago my wife came out to me and told me she was Bi sexual and wanted to know if I was open to her exploring her sexuality. At this stage she didn't know my secret but I told her that I support her and she is free to explore her sexuality with other women. Then I told her about my own sexuality. She burst into tears told me it just can't be true and ran from the room. We are now sleeping in separate rooms and our relationship is on the edge. I love my wife and always have I've told her I'm not looking for a hall pass I just owed her the truth. Do I still have desires for men, yes I do. Do I miss intimate male contact, from time to time yes. Can I continue to be monogamous with my wife while she explores her sexuality I believe I can, but she can't seem to get past the fact that I have slept with other men, she's fixated on the fact that I was sexualy abused from the age 9 until I was 12 that I'm not Bi but it's because I was raped as a child ( and yes I do suffer from PTSD due to that experience. ) How do I show her that I really am Bi but I'm content with the life I have chosen, how do I save my marriage and not make my wife feel any guilt for being who she is.
    1 person found this helpful
  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9163 posts
    28 November 2020 in reply to Proud Purple
    Hi

    I have a hunch tgatvthecreal problem she has, is living 19 years before your truth came out.

    Either way I also think that your situation is ripe for relationship counseling. If she doesn't go with you then attend yourself.

    I wish you well

    TonyWK

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