Hi HillTopGuru, hopefully I can pick up on some the bits that Tony WK has left in his great post to you.
I feel really sorry for bisexual guys that I know, because they often find it difficult to be accepted. Straight people distrust or dismiss the gay side (a bit like your wife thinking it was just a phase in your past), and gay people often will just say you're in denial, dismissing your straight side.
I'm feeling from your post that you have some shame about your feelings for men, using words like 'addiction' and 'act out' to describe perfectly normal human desires.
There have been a few posts similar to yours on here recently, so I'm going to repeat something I said on another post. There are three parts to sexuality, orientation (what identity or label you choose for yourself, such as 'bisexual' or 'gay' or 'straight'), attraction - how you feel inside about members of the same and/or opposite sex, and behaviour - what you actually do.
Attraction is a complicated thing. You can feel sexually attracted to men but prefer romantic relationships with women. This is why, even in this more accepting time, you still see so many straight men in marriages to women while loading up Grindr on the side to have hookups.
Now I'm not saying you should do that, based on what you've said that would be cheating on your wife. You've said that your love and care for her outweighs your sexual desires, but you've also said you've had relationships in the past where your bisexuality was accepted and you were more satisfied. There are many people who live in satisfactory open relationships where sex with others outside the relationship is permitted.
What I think this comes down to is a common but painful problem in many relationships, one where the desires of the partners are in a direct conflict. For some it might be about having children, or moving overseas. In your case, it's your sexuality.
It's a big part of who you are and I wish you luck in figuring out how to juggle these priorities in your life.