I actually created my account JUST to reply to this thread. Although you're much older (im 19) and have a family of your own, I do understand how hard it is to come out as well as accept yourself. Firstly, I am proud that you're starting to take baby steps in your journey. *claps* I hope that tomorrow your psychologist gives you clarity that you need. But, if she doesn't, because some shrinks are not well educated in that department, sso to speak, there are counselling hotlines for LGBTIQ people BY LGBITQ people.
You won't be treated like a freak. I think that will only factor depending how your children were raised. If they were raised in a way that respects difference of all walks of life, you'll be okay. I think it will also depend on their age. Well, maybe, maybe not. I told my brother that i'm gay 2 years ago, and he would have been about.... 14? Since he was in that bratty stage, he gave me crap about it, but doesn't anymore. However, its one of those things that he doesnt feel comfortable talking about (but he is very accepting of other LGBTIQ people). He's just a brat. Hopefully your kids arent brats, lol. Your kids will eventually understand, but they will always
love you. Once you tell them, just give them time to accept it and if they have questions about it, try your best to answer it. Try not to force it, and dont always question them on their opinion on it.
Yes, you will be able to face your workmates, but I don't understand why you would feel that you wouldnt. If you tell them, I personally, dont understand why you need to tell them. Family and work life should be separate.
It's not selfish. It might sound like it to some people at first, but it's not. You deserve to be happy, with whoever you want to be with.
After all of this, you will still be a part of your families life.
I think you should join some support groups, but given your age (they're generally targeted at people under 25) it may be limited.
I personally think you should take one step at a time. It took me a very long time to accept who i am, what I like, and be comfortable with it for at least.... 7 years. I felt different when i was 10 years old, but pushed it down because it didnt feel right. My homo feelings were repressed for so long, that when they began to emerge, I had an identity crisis and was in denial for 5 years, until 2012 where I accepted myself, and I'm really happy that I've done the hard part of my journey to gayvile.