Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here. I see that you haven't had any replies as yet so I thought I'd jump in and say hello.
I don't identify as someone on the spectrum so I can't relate to what you're going through, but I can try to understand and be here for you anyway. I know that there are other members in the same boat as yourself so hopefully they can jump in here and be more helpful.
The one thing I did want to say was this: I can see your goals in the way that you want to be seen and the way you want to be interacting with people - what would it mean to take a little step in this direction?
I am cisgender but I do have a lot of friends who vary on the spectrum - while the majority are cisgender too, I also have friends who see themselves in other categories and some even transitioning. The reason I'm sharing this with you is because the diversity in my friendships isn't as important as the friendships themselves.
The people that you surround yourself with can choose to accept you as you are and who you're becoming, or they won't - and while I know you are struggling with this with gender expression it really does apply to all friendships. The people I surround myself with will either accept me as I am or they won't - and it allows me to find who is really worth becoming my friend.
I do hope that this helps somewhat - I want you to know that it's okay to be who you are and it's okay to be uncomfortable because with good friends it won't matter because they'll like you for you.