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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / What am I thinking!?

Topic: What am I thinking!?

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Wifeymum
    Wifeymum  avatar
    2 posts
    19 February 2021

    So I’m in a pretty tough situation at the moment and I need some help understanding how I’m feeling...

    I am a woman, married to a man for the past 10 years, we have a child together. We have had a pretty rocky marriage but in short things aren’t too bad at the moment.

    I met a woman at work who I had a connection with, before I ever even spoke with her, just seeing her made me feel weak, jittery, flushed and I didn’t know wether to look at her or run away. I have NEVER felt like this before towards anyone, not even my own husband, let alone another woman. Not once in my life have I ever considered myself attracted to women, but this particular one... I cannot even explain the feeling I got from her. I also still have no idea what her sexual orientation is...

    I cannot get her off my mind, I can’t explain my feelings and I never felt More drawn to a person who I’ve spoken no more than a few words to.

    What on earth could be happening in my brain (or heart) right now? What steps coild I take to explore this without putting my career and/or marriage and family at risk? All I do know is that I can’t do nothing...

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5483 posts
    19 February 2021 in reply to Wifeymum
    Hi Wifeymum,

    This sounds like this might be a bit of a shock as this is a new experience for you. It must be so confusing to have this come up after many years of marriage and I can imagine that you would be fearful of jeopardizing your career/marriage and family life.

    If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website:  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.
  3. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    14905 posts
    20 February 2021 in reply to Wifeymum

    Hello Wifeymum, and welcome to the site.

    Our own feeling about sexuality differs from person to person but it's strong and no matter who we see or meet, let's say at work, could mean some form of attraction, acknowledgement of their capacity to do the work, wish we were as attractive as they are, or have a feeling that's who we'd love to be with, even though we know nothing about them.

    It could the opposite sex or perhaps the same sex only hoping we had the same talents as they do, and this happens even if we're married because sexuality is about your feelings, thoughts, attractions and behaviours towards other people, that doesn't necessarily mean you want to be with them, but it certainly hopes you are able to have a coffee together, then maybe something might happen.

    There's no doubt that we wish we were as good looking as another chap or had their physique but may end there but sometimes the attraction is too strong, but you won't know until you approach her.

    Best wishes.


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