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Forums / Staying well / Accepting your mental illness

Topic: Accepting your mental illness

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. white knight
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    white knight avatar
    6400 posts
    17 February 2018

    It is the most important and necessary step on our journey for the rest of our lives. To accept our condition. It involves nobody else this procedure. Sure our family and friends are effected one way or the other in being tolerant but this road we pave of acceptance is mostly done alone.

    You can take our hands as you begin your trek. We can plant the seeds, point you in the direction you should head and let you go. “We” being anyone that has empathy really and professional health carers.

    Essentially, the process of acceptance is a frame of mind. It is no different to other challenges of a physical nature except being an illness others cant see it is less accepted plus there is much more stigma that lurks in the minds of the unknown.

    So if you have a view, a rare view, of placing mental illness in the same basket as a physical illness it is easier to accept. Some basic rules though can be taken on board to help you along

    • Regular contact with your GP is crucial. Even if you aren’t feeling 100% it is no longer a case of wait and see. Go, go to your GP.

    • Defend yourself and distance yourself from the naïve and opinionated “expert” that will cause you to crash in an instant. You don’t need negativity to drag you down.

    • Join other peer groups like this one whereby like minds get together to build your mental strength.

    • Concentrate on what you can, not what you cannot do. This is all to do with positive thinking. Positive thinking in its best form is one whereby you also remain realistic.

    • Mindset is important. You are not abnormal as there is no normal. You are YOU and they are themselves. For every person receiving medical attention for a mental illness there are likely 8 out their not getting it but truly have it. Feel self-appreciative that you are doing something about it

    • Some illnesses effect us and our loved ones daily. This is a fact of our lives. Only after many conflicts do we realise our dosage is out of whack. This is the steep drawn out learning curve of mental illness.

    • Accept that others we walk past in the street have restrictions. Like – some bound by wheelchairs or crutches/canes, some cant talk our language, homeless people, learning difficulties even financial incompetence and the list goes on. Depression and other related illnesses are no different apart from needing some well targeted professional help.

    Once accepted we can fine tune our lives better. We can move on, face other challenges like stability. Then its easier for others.

    Tony WK


    6 people found this helpful
  2. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    5090 posts
    17 February 2018 in reply to white knight

    Tony,

    Thanks for your great thread.

    Having lived with a diagnosis for over 40 years I have had a long time to deal with the issues you mentioned. I would do most of what you have suggested but to be honest I am not sure I will ever accept my illness. To me acceptance means being complacent, putting up with it whereas I challenge and argue with it daily and push the boundaries.

    I know acceptance means different thing to different people.

    Well done for starting th conversation. It is important for the people newly diagnosed and old ones like me to have this discussion.

    Quirky

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Elizabeth CP
    Elizabeth CP avatar
    1794 posts
    17 February 2018 in reply to quirkywords

    I agree with Tony. I'll use an analogy. Several years ago my husband became blind. At first he was really angry & expected the Eye & Ear Hospital to fix him. Once he found out it was permanent came the process of accepting it. Fortunately my husband had good health professionals & combined with my support & equipment has learnt to manage his condition including bushwalking & travelling on public transport. My husband is determined to do as much as possible rather than be restricted by his blindness. On the other hand I know other people who have been blind for many years & are totally dependent on others because they gave in to the condition.

    This is the same for any long term condition including MI. Hoping it will go away or getting angry & expecting someone to fix us is useless. Using the MI or other condition as an excuse to give up isn't helpful. Accepting the condition & then taking any opportunities to learn to deal with the condition as effectively as possible & learning by experience what helps you live the life you want with your condition maximises the chance of a decent life.

    2 people found this helpful
  4. blondguy
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    blondguy avatar
    9054 posts
    17 February 2018 in reply to white knight

    Hi Tony

    You have created another terrific thread topic here

    When the GP's were struggling with my chronic anxiety back in 1983 I had no choice but to find an expert who was Dr Claire Weekes, a psychiatrist who suffered from decades of anxiety and depression.

    Her book is dated with the title 'Self Help for Your Nerves' but its still selling globally.

    You have said exactly what Dr Weekes mentioned about 'Calm and True Acceptance' of our mental illness will help us find some peace in our lives.

    By 'fighting or battling' our mental illness we only exacerbate our symptoms.

    Acceptance of our illness does bring peace along with your accurate bullet points as a holistic approach. I know it takes a lot of practice and patience but the end results are a bonus

    Thankyou Tony for the great post. Paul

    1 person found this helpful
  5. white knight
    Community Champion
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    white knight avatar
    6400 posts
    18 February 2018 in reply to blondguy

    Thankyou for your replies.

    I have to admit, I truly accept things as being my first crucial step because I'm impatient...I wanted to get to the point I am at now.

    I'll look for extracts of that book Paul :)

    Tony WK

  6. CMF
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    CMF avatar
    7490 posts
    18 February 2018 in reply to white knight

    Hi all,

    I'm tired but this thread caught my attention so just a quick reply. I find acceptance has helped me with many things. I accept my anxiety so when I'm going through an anxious cycle I go beast on myself. I allow myself to feel the way I do and remind myself that my mind is working overtime and I am capable of feeling better. I also accept the mnew stakes I've made in life and try not to question why. I tell myself 'it is what it is' . I can't change it, so accept it and find wYs to deal with it. I'm trying to be more accepting of others too. Again, I can't change the wAy they are but I can learn wYs to deal with them or try not to have too much contact. We all have faults, we can't change people. Acceptance of different things helps with my anxiety. As the say 'acceptance is the key'.

    cmf x

    1 person found this helpful
  7. butterfly 123
    butterfly 123 avatar
    3 posts
    11 September 2018 in reply to white knight
    acceptance has been a long journey for me. i accept i have an illness and that it impacts my life. i try to do the best with what i have but trying to be normal tires me mentally. its invisible illness and i feel like people just dont see how much energy i use to try and be sane. i dont judge people with mental illness and am amazed at what people do with it as that is what true character shines out. we are brave ! keep staying healthy.

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