Welcome to Beyond Blue.
You can probably tell, by my username, that I am now a sober person ..... which means that I used to drink. And by drink, I mean get drunk. As often as I could, and as quickly as I could. I too drank to try and drown my anxiety. But alcohol is actually a depressant, and therefore will leave you feeling worse and worse, each and every time you drink, especially when binge drinking.
I have now been sober for a bit over 22 years, and it's by far the BEST decision I ever made. EVER. I feel like my life began, from a brand new canvas, when I put down the demon drink. Don't get me wrong; I don't have anything at all against drinking. But I do have a problem with drinking when it's me that's doing it. There are plenty of people who can drink in perfect safety ...... unfortunately I am not one of them.
You mentioned it is taking your sanity; well, yeah, it could be exactly that. ...... insanity is to do the same thing over and over while expecting a different result.
The good news is that having the awareness, and admitting that something is wrong is a great start!
I'd like to make a couple of suggestions;
1) If you want something like a peer support group, where there are people just like yourself, then check out these two websites; https://aa.org.au/new-to-aa/what-is-aa/is-aa-for-you/
And this one; - www.aameetings.org.au - where you can search for your nearest/next local AA meeting.
Also there is a 24/7 helpline for Alcoholics Anonymous: 1300 222 222. You can call that at any time. Who knows, you might even get me, as I am on that phone roster! (PS: my name is Melinda)
2) If peer support/group support is not what you are looking for, then may I suggest going to your local community centre, and making an appointment with a drug and alcohol counselor, who may be able to help guide you to a better way of living, without having to binge drink.Maybe also talk to your doctor, just in case there is more going on than just the binge drinking/anxiety. Getting a thorough check-up might also help to expose any other issues which may need attention.
I hope that helps at least a little. Let me know how you go, yeah? Or if you have any other questions. Am more than happy to help out if I can.
Take care. I look forward to seeing you post again. xo