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Forums / Staying well / Help

Topic: Help

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. Meg1977
    Meg1977 avatar
    5 posts
    2 June 2021

    Hi guys i dont post alot because i feel as though ive been doing better but im really confused atm my 14 yo daughter has been working at her first job maccas for 3 wks now and absolutely hates it we didnt ask her to get a job she did this herself with a friend who also got a job like i said shes miserable and i dont know what to do she cries before leaving but cant tell me what she hates about it and im to the point that i get anxiety a day before her shift i want her to learn from this and not just quit cos sometimes you just have to work thru things and get to the other side

    Her mental health is very important to me but will she then think its ok to quit whenever she feels uncomfortable about something

    abit of info: she does suffer from some anxiety and has always had me there to save the day with things she isnt a confident person and only has 1 close friend thanx for any advice xo

  2. white knight
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    white knight avatar
    9216 posts
    2 June 2021 in reply to Meg1977

    Hi, welcome

    I've had 2 nieces work at that company, one still there after 7 years. The latter has some serious mental health issues but loves it as she is in her comfort zone now and that is the key, eventually your daughter will feel ok.

    I wouldn't ignore her tears but I would brush them aside and add heaps of praise.

    TonyWK

    1 person found this helpful
  3. jtjt_4862
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    jtjt_4862 avatar
    310 posts
    2 June 2021 in reply to Meg1977

    Hi Meg,

    Welcome to the forums! I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety from seeing your daughter going to work and coming home, only to complain that she hates it, and she can't tell you why. It must have been tough on you when it's hard to get an understanding from your daughter as to why she hates her job.

    Adding on to White Knight's advise, I feel it is very brave of her to be seeking out a job to earn some money for herself at that age. And through working, she will learn a lot about working as a team, and improving her social skills. You can give her lots of praise and encouragement (especially given how brave she is to be doing this at such a young age), and let her know that no matter what happens, she will always have your support. Perhaps you could pay her a surprise visit occasionally while she is at work, to show your support. Over time, she will learn to grow and adapt, and if she begins to love her job, that's a bonus.

    Jt

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Meg1977
    Meg1977 avatar
    5 posts
    4 June 2021 in reply to white knight
    Thanx for your response my daughter ended up quitting the job without our knowledge now i have to deal with the aftermath of family asking why she quit and it seems to generally be my fault
  5. jtjt_4862
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    jtjt_4862 avatar
    310 posts
    4 June 2021 in reply to Meg1977

    Hi Meg,

    I feel there is no right or wrong here. It was a decision that your daughter has made for what she feels is best for herself. You could check in on her to see how she is doing, and give her your support. Let her know that it's alright for her to quit her job, and hope she has learned something out of this experience (the experience is completely up to the individual themselves to interpret, so again, there's no right or wrong here).

    If your family starts to ask why she quit her job, let them manage their expectations of you by themselves. There's no fault to the decision that your daughter has made, and neither should you feel like you're responsible for something that was out of your control from the beginning.

    Jt

  6. therising
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    therising avatar
    2198 posts
    4 June 2021 in reply to Meg1977

    Hi Meg1977

    One of the most important things you can do is give yourself credit for how you manage trying to raise your consciousness as a mum. Being a mum myself, if there's one thing I try to remain conscious of it's this - When our child/children face 1st time challenges, we are also facing 1st time challenges. We're in it together with our kids in various ways. It's like when your eldest child turns 5, it's the 1st time you've been a mum to a 5 year old. When they turn 14, it's the 1st time you've been a mum to a 14 year old. It's always going to be a learning experience, navigating our children's firsts (job, broken heart etc). As I say to my 15yo son and 18yo daughter 'We gotta guide each other through this because we're winging it, to a degree'.

    If you're daughter's pretty sensitive in certain ways, perhaps McDonald's is a pretty overwhelming 1st job for her. I swear, there are times where I'll walk into my local McDonald's at peak hour, as a customer, and the vibe of that place will trigger me. Everyone's running around behind the counter in some extreme state of hyperactivity and they're generally not looking too happy about it. I often feel sorry for them. If you're daughter's sensitive to noise or certain sounds to some degree, I can feel for her. I think I'd just about go insane if I had to work at McDonald's, in a shopping centre food court or a pokies venue. If she's sensitive to incompetent or rude managers and there's one where she was working, I can't say I blame her for leaving. We shouldn't have to tolerate that stuff. Perhaps she's better suited to a calmer environment which is far more supportive regarding new staff. Personally, I can't work with the public, they trigger me. I've spent a majority of my life working in disability and aged care.

    If your daughter's a sensitive caring person, what jobs involve sensitivity and care? A job where she can express who she naturally is may be the way to go. While a lot of people may criticise your daughter for leaving that job or even criticise you, try leading them to guide her instead. Perhaps 'If McDonald's is just not you, what kind of job do you feel is you? What kind of environment would you thrive in? What kind of people would inspire you?' Encourage people to lead her to wonder, not self chastisement. Wonder exercises our open minded nature, stretching our imagination.

    Perhaps you could go out together into different shops and see which shops she feels she'd love to work in.

    :)

    1 person found this helpful

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