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Forums / Staying well / I don't believe I deserve to be happy

Topic: I don't believe I deserve to be happy

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. AG.
    AG. avatar
    6 posts
    21 May 2021

    Whenever I go to do something fun or something that will make me happy, I don't do it because I don't believe that I deserve to feel happiness.

    AAm I being stupid or does anyone else feel like this.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Willow Jude
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Willow Jude avatar
    30 posts
    21 May 2021 in reply to AG.

    Hi AGillian, and welcome to the forums. It can be tough to reach out and share what you're going through, so I'm glad you've been able to do that today.

    While I do not have a whole lot of experience with this feeling myself, it is my understanding that it is something faced by a lot of people who have a mental illness. And even if it wasn't common, you are never being 'stupid' for the feelings you experience.

    It seems like it must be tough to deal with this feeling in your life. While I understand it can be hard to challenge our thoughts, I want you to know that they are not always accurate or helpful. You do deserve to feel happiness, and I hope that is something that you are able to recognise.

    It is my understanding that feelings like this are generally part of a larger issue affecting us. Have you seen someone for your mental health before? Getting help for your mental health seems like it could be beneficial in assisting you to address these feelings.


  3. AG.
    AG. avatar
    6 posts
    22 May 2021 in reply to Willow Jude
    I've tried all sorts of help over the years but nothing works
  4. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9074 posts
    22 May 2021 in reply to AG.

    Hello Dear AGillian,

    A warm welcome to our forums...

    It’s so sad that you feel you don’t deserve to be happy....

    Is their a reason you don’t feel like you deserve happiness?

    Everyone deserves to find joy and happiness in their life...

    No pressure to answer my questions...I asked out of care for you...and hope that one day you do recognise that you really are entitled to be happy...

    Here if you feel up to talking dear AGillian....


  5. AG.
    AG. avatar
    6 posts
    22 May 2021 in reply to Ggrand
    I don't know why I feel this way, I just do. Every time I've been happy something has come along to ruin it so it's obvious that I'm not supposed to be happy so I don't deserve it. I just feel like I deserve pain and sadness.
  6. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5929 posts
    22 May 2021 in reply to AG.
    Hi AG.,

    We're so sorry to hear that you feel that you don't deserve happiness. It sounds like you've had quite a lot of pain and disappointments throughout your journey which we understand can make it hard to feel hopeful sometimes. Please know that you're not alone in this. 

    You mentioned that you have tried all sorts of help in the past - can we ask if you are currently accessing any mental health support? If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website:  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. Frustratingly, it can sometimes take trying several different options and professionals to find what combination of treatments and supports help us best.

    It sounds like you can be quite hard on yourself - you might find our page “When your inner critic is giving you a tough time” helpful. 

    Many of our members have felt similar and will be able to talk through these feelings with you. If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best help you get through this tough period.

  7. AG.
    AG. avatar
    6 posts
    22 May 2021 in reply to Sophie_M

    I've started counseling again recently and I'm soon seeing a psychiatrist to review my medication because I don't believe it's doing any good anymore and that my body has become used to it.

    II'm always hard on myself because I believe it's what I deserve.

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