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Forums / Staying well / Loneliness and being alone

Topic: Loneliness and being alone

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. white knight
    Community Champion
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    white knight avatar
    9402 posts
    21 June 2020

    I am fond of a Mr Bean skit.

    He attends a restaurant alone, then writes himself a birthday card and make believed he has company. Very funny, but sad.

    Loneliness is craving another’s company and I think most of us know that feeling. Being alone is not the same. Some people prefer to be alone in fact some insist on it. In that case preferring to be alone is not an actual problem whereas being lonely is. In fact some poor souls are lonely even amongst a crowd.

    Lets look at the benefits of good company. Good company results in a flowing exchange of conversation which often leads to things like compliments, understanding and comfort. The mere sharing of events or feelings with people that are willing to listen is beneficial.

    Of course this social interaction comes with risk, rejection, criticism or mere harsh judgement not aired. We can easily slip back into a solitude lifestyle into a safety zone. Then loneliness begins. What is the answer to this dilemma?

    In my experience I would have to highlight a strong point here- that once rejected we are better off continuing to meet up with more people, the more we meet the more chance you’ll find compatibility and increase your chances of reliable company.

    For some, shutting yourself away seems like a “no one can hurt me now” policy without risk. But it can be destructive on your own mental well being. That isn’t caring for yourself in terms of well being. It isn’t healthy.

    Forcing yourself to socialise also isn’t ideal. Wearing a mask is tiresome. But bare minimal daily contact is really all you need for good health.

    I have the answer to all of this- buy a very cute little dog. The world will come to you. Strangers will flock around your dog and dog lovers are usually loving people.

    And you’ll also have a best friend and won’t be alone


    4 people found this helpful
  2. Blue Elmo
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Blue Elmo avatar
    11 posts
    5 July 2020 in reply to white knight

    Hello white knight !

    I loved Mr Bean growing up and he brought joy to so many people, by doing so little and appreciating the smaller things in life. I love this post so much and thank you for reminding me of such a legend!

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