Hi therising,

Thank you for your heartfelt thoughts. I always love them. I have been able to pick myself up a bit and not feel so overwhelmed. I've been doing a lot of 'what if' & realised I don't need to figure everything out right now, esp as I'm stuck in isolation. Gratitude is sooooo important. I did say I would speak up abit more this year where appropriate to do so. I've cleaned and freshened by bathrooms today, washed towels. It's cleansing. Next is vacuum ing. Clear away negativity, clear the mind. Remember times when I really focussed on what i wanted. When i envisioned & could feel it & it came to me. I want to get back on that vibration.

Cmf x

Hi CMF

It's definitely hard to tune into inspiration, get a solid connection, when thoughts hold a kind of erratic almost deafening frequency. 'I have to do this, do that, do all things and all those things and do them all by a certain time' is definitely not a calm inviting kind of vibe. Such a sense of urgency can, these days, leave me on the verge of hyperventilating if I'm not careful. Relaxing and proclaiming to the powers that be 'Okay, I'm more relaxed now, so how do I manage this stage of my life?' is a far more inviting vibe. What naturally comes to mind may be 'It's time for a gradual clean out of the old' or 'Have faith and simply manage one thing at a time' or 'Trust that you're on track for where you need to be'. It's like you just know the second you're 'tuned in'. What comes to mind offers relief and/or inspiration. You can feel yourself back on track. On track feels good, it feels calm. Feels like the powers that be have got your back.

I may have mentioned before what comes to mind when I imagine I have some sense of guidance beside me is something I find amusing. If I imagine I have some guide beside me, there would be times that would leave them smacking their forehead in frustration, shaking their head in disbelief while rolling their eyes to the heavens proclaiming 'My god this woman is frustrating! Will she never learn?'. You know those moments when you're going with the flow and everything's fantastic and then, all of a sudden, you start going against the flow. You start stressing and melting back into that sense of self that has little faith in the powers that be. You know those 'Why have you abandoned me?!' moments. As they say, the flow is always there, our choice is to tune into it or not.

Sounds like you've returned to the flow and your house is looking good. A win win. It can be hard to tune back in when there are so many challenges and distractions going on around us. As my daughter occasionally advises me 'If you want to choose your vibe, pick the music (to listen to) that's going to raise it'. She's a wise one. Do you have some music you're working to these days?

I've hit a roadblock in my life. I'm pretty sure it's my relationship causing it.

I'm stuck, can't breathe properly. Cannot see the way forward.

Hi CMF,

We are sorry to hear that you are feeling stuck at the moment. We just wanted to remind you that you're not alone and both Beyond Blue and our online community members are here with you.

We want you to know that there is always extra immediate support available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14). It might also be worth getting in touch with an organisation called Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277 who provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities.

We hope you will keep us updated with how you're going.

Thank you dear Sophie,

I truly appreciate you reaching out. I'm ok. I will be ok.

Cmf x

Hi CMF

I feel for you so much. Relationships can be so tough to navigate. 'Am I being too emotional? Are my emotions blocking my clear vision of the future? Am I not being emotional enough (aka feeling numb) when I need to be feeling more, feeling my way through this situation? Is there something wrong with me? Is it him/her? Is it us? What in hell is going on?!' Relationships can definitely feel like hell on earth sometimes, that's for sure. So many questions can put us on the verge of hyperventilating.

Not sure whether it's relatable but I've gradually come to find that when I'm on a downer in my marriage, that downer signifies a significant challenge toward growth is in play. While I've come to recognise this, it hasn't stopped me from thinking 'Oh, sh*t, not another challenge! Is the relationship really worth this many challenges?'. I've been with my husband for more than 20 years and there have been a lot of challenges over those years. I've found each one typically comes down to one significant question, phrased in a variety of ways, 'What am I being challenged to do or recognise here? What am I being challenged to 'wake up to?' What am I not seeing?'. I suppose it's kinda like 'I can't see anything beyond this goddamn roadblock! It's obscuring my view'.

If I wanted to get seriously philosophical I'd say 'With every roadblock there's a detour. We're forced to take a detour, not focus on the block.' Perhaps clearer vision's gained on the detour.

Not sure if it will help triggering the imagination but if you were to imagine you're on a street and you've come to a roadblock and there's a detour pointing down a side street, what's in the side street? Imagine shops. Is there a shop that's all about taking care of you (spa, massage, something related to relaxation and personal well being)? Can you see if there's perhaps a place that involves some form or counseling/guidance, whether that's mental or spiritual guidance or perhaps a combo of both? Is there a place you've been before that you feel compelled to revisit? Maybe there's a car yard, with the car you need to buy, if it's time for a new one. Perhaps you can see a group of people who are calling you over to join a new circle, in the way of personal growth. Could this be a new stage you're entering into? Can you see anything down that side street in your mind that stands out?

Toughest thing of all is when you find your partner is happier taking a back seat, rather than helping you navigate :)

Thank you therising for your wisdom. All you say makes perfect sense.

I have been asking 'why the roadblock?' amongst other things. My partner agrees with looking at why it is there, but this is no help.

Yes, it is very frustrating he takes a back seat and says ' that's just how it is'. He's happy ,has all he wants but I'm the one missing out (all in my thread). I'm watching him play happy family with his sister & kids while I'm alone.

Maybe the roadblock means I'm not meant to be there? He also says I am focussing on 1 negative amongst many positives, but it's a big negative, always in my face as we cannot have any privacy or normality at his house. It's like I'm visiting a married couple. We were so close to normality then the roadblock was placed in our way again. She's very nice but dominant in every way.I'm not one to just sit & accept things like him. Maybe I need to turn around and go back to where I was before him? Maybe it's a dead end, no detour? I'm on a very low vibration, can't manifest or think postive thoughts. I know I'm attracting what I don't want but my fight is gone. I feel I have nothing left to fight again. We were 1 step forward now 10 steps back. The block was being removed, now it has been dropped right in front of me again. Ì can't go through this for another few years.

Cmf x

Hi CMF

Definitely sounds like a significant road block. I suppose it's kind of like you feel like you're both happily co-navigating the relationship when all of a sudden he says the equivalent of 'Okay, now we're going my way baby, suck it up and enjoy the view'.

I can relate to where you're coming from in some ways. My husband is perfectly happy with the way the relationship is as long as I'm suppressing my need and expression for it to evolve into something that serves us both. He's basically a good guy but I've come to realise basically doesn't cut in in my world anymore. I've raised the bar, having realised there's no sense of adventure, no exciting plans to look forward to as a couple and not much of anything else that he regards as unnecessary work. He's happy as things are. Lucky him! Of course, raising the bar when someone else is happy with the level the bar's set at creates problems. I'll give you a very simple example of having raised expectations but to what I feel is to a perfectly reasonable level under the circumstances (in my opinion anyway). He's basically thoughtful and I appreciate that to some degree. When basically thoughtful means he's thought about taking the washing off the line after work, for example, because I get home later when it's actually dark, this is good. I do appreciate not having to take the washing off the line in the dark. The 'taking it up a level' aspect comes down to him having left his washing in the basket along with the rest of the family's for me to put away. Dude, really?

I imagine, being a very thoughtful person yourself, there are days where you'd be left thinking 'Am I the only person who's willing to take it up levels (of consciousness)? Is everyone else functioning at basic level they're happy with?'.

Nothing wrong with raising the bar in order for us to evolve beyond a low bar :)

If you feel the challenge is his, regarding his sister, and he won't face it, it sounds like you taking full responsibility for a challenge he's happy not facing. The responsibility you face is 'Managing no private time with the 2 of you as well as managing the emotions that come with that'. I suppose it's a matter of raising the bar to the level known as 'co-operation'. Kind of like you saying 'Okay, I'll take responsibility for the emotions I face on the days where there's no private time for us if you take responsibility for managing days where there is (private time)'. Is he being challenged to co-operate but it's easier for him not to? If he's happy with her and the kids living with him, perhaps the challenge for him is about thinking outside the square while they are living there. I think you deserve plenty of romantic weekends away by the sound of it :)

I swear CMF, I married someone just like my father in certain ways. Just about anything that involves some emotional challenge is a trigger for them to turn around and walk off. This is definitely a massive trigger for the one longing to resolve emotional issues, so as to move on beyond them (graduate to a whole new happy healthy level of the relationship). I watched my mum deal with so much stress on her own because my dad didn't like how stress made him feel. So much easier reaching emotional maturity together, rather than trying to do it on your own. Can feel so lonely at times. So easy to feel resentment on occasion.

Hi therising,

I love that thought..."...I'll take responsibility for the emotions I face on the days where there's no private time for us if you take responsibility for managing days where there is (private time)" you're right. Why should it all be my responsibility? I do feel better today. Back at work, busy, feeling positive. I've made a list of things I want to get done. I'm putting it out there to achieve these goals. I'm motivated. I'm having another reading done this week. First one was pretty accurate, looking forward to seeing what comes up in this one...

Cmf x

Hi CMF

Sounds like you're in the process of raising your vibe. Hoping the reading gives you greater clarity, raising that vibe even further. Hope you come away from it absolutely buzzing. It's amazing how when you find your 'go to' person for clarity how they can make such a difference. I've found it's also amazing how many people can slam our resource for greater clarity. If you've ever heard something along the lines of 'Oh, you see one of those people. They're all a load of rubbish', you'll know what I mean. Funny thing is...the resource they slam is the resource that often makes the most positive difference to us. I figure, whatever resource speaks to the soul, whichever one helps us evolve beyond who and where we are, it's a good one to stick with no matter what anyone says.

Can't wait to hear how the reading went :)

Well the reading was accurate. I wrote down what I wanted to focus on. All I could write was stuck. First thing she said was that I was stuck lt came up everywhere. My partners sis keeps appearing ad dominant & controlling. She picked up that I'm at my wits end & if things don't change I'm ready to walk away. Said my partner is really aware now & will make an effort to improve things. She said he should come to my house more & we should cook & do things together at his so sis can see we are the couple as she is ignorant to the impact she is having by alwzys being around. There was more, funnily enough my partner sent me a pic of a beach house they like. Not sure if they're serious but he said it would be great for us to get away on weekends and be alone. He is right, but its6a Bandai solution. She'll still be always in my face at his house. That's the issue he's avoiding.

Cmf x

Hi CMF!
i have to admit, this is a really interesting discussion - a lot of great insights from the community. Tbh, I never believed in these things myself. Sure, I always thought that good thoughts bring something good in your life and negative thoughts are more of self-sabotage. So I've tried to stay positive as much as I can, but we all know that that's not always possible. My friend was into meditation for quite some time and I decided to try it for myself as well. What was interesting to learn - not every meditation practice is suitable for everyone so I had to find something for me. Got some advice in online forums and started using several apps for meditation such as Inscape and Yoursapp - was really impressed with the content I found, as well as with meditation practices, breathing exercises, and a nice selection of music/nature sounds that helped me to calm myself before going to sleep. I'm meditating and doing some practices for mindfulness for a while now and I can really feel the change not only in my mental wellbeing but also in how I'm managing difficult situations and how much my approach towards life changed. Working on your mind and creating something positive can really change a lot in your life.

Hi divisor,

Welcome to the discussion & thank you for your thoughts. It's definitely hard to be positive all the time but it does help. I'm really low at the moment. I'm stuck. I think it's my relationship. I've never been able to get into meditation. I can't relax enough lol

Cmf x

Hi CMF

So glad the reading went well and offered validation, insight and guidance.

Can't help but wonder why his sister and the kids are living with him. Was this meant to be a transitional period for her and she's ended up staying longer than planned? Kind of like 'Stay 'til you get back on your feet' and she's enjoying the support and company so much that she feels no deep need to move on beyond this right now. Do you think he's happy having a live in caretaker, if she's taking care of his house and him? I imagine they get along pretty well. If this is the case, perhaps he's not in a hurry for her to move out. Kind of like having a flatmate who you get along really well with. Why would you want them to leave in that case?

Have been on both sides of the fence. We have a nice comfy bungalow in the back yard. Some years ago my husband's relative came to stay for a few months or so. While I got along famously with him, I ended up asking my husband at one point down the track 'When is he planning on leaving?'. My husband wasn't in a hurry for him to leave, which I could understand, but it doesn't take away from the fact there's a certain feel to when your place is not your own. It's a feeling of losing your freedom to some degree. Flipping perspective, I also had a relative come to stay. At the time he was around 20 and had just faced a life altering experience and was deeply deeply depressed. He was just as depressed when my husband asked some months later when this young guy was planning on leaving. I couldn't imagine this guy living alone, as for me this was a major trigger when I was depressed. It happened that my brother stepped in at this point and said 'He's coming to live with me'. This young guy went from living in a place where he was gently loved in a maternal kind of way to a place where there was a lot of tough love and solid direction. The tough love approach worked, as it led this young man out of depression. The best thing he could have done was leave to move to a place where there was still support.

If your partner's sis is there for support, is it the best kind of support or is the kind of support that's actually stopping her from progressing further?

Is it possible to carefully lead him to imagine, while enjoying adventures together and vibing at your place, what he'd like the future to look like for his sister? Could you trigger him to open his mind to possibilities and maybe even be excited for her, based on those possibilities?

Hi digisur

A warm welcome to you :)

I think it's amazing how we can come to gradually relate to something, such as meditation. I think we have to have an open mind for this to happen. Closed minded people typically flat out refuse to relate to anything that doesn't suit them. Know a few of those people.

As my mind has opened up more over the years I've come to realise what I may not be able to relate to now could be something I relate to further down the track. I think a lot of it's about how we're led to relate to things. Before this thread, I could basically relate to manifesting. With CMF leading me to relate to it on a deeper level, I can now deeply relate to it. CMF is a great leader :) Another example that comes to mind is a bit of a strange one. You could be feeling a lot of stress in the lead up to someone gifting you a set of wind chimes. The chimes sit in a box for days before something pops into your head like 'Go and hang the wind chimes up'. So you do. After a number of days, you come to realise those chimes lead you to feel a sense of peace you've been trying to find. Suddenly, you can relate to sound therapy. Music therapy is also a form of sound therapy that works for some. Before this, you may have thought 'That sound therapy stuff sounds like a load of rubbish'.

I'm so glad you can relate to the kind of meditation that makes a difference to you. I think life has a kind of 'treasure hunt' aspect to it. In searching for what is mind altering and life changing, the more we open our mind, the easier it becomes to find all the little treasures that make a difference to us. Of course, some days it can feel impossible, opening our mind to finding what makes a difference. I figure, if we're treasure hunters/explorers, all explorers have felt completely lost at some point and/or have faced the kinds of territory that appear impossible to get through or navigate. No matter how lost we feel, the treasures remain, waiting to be discovered. To maintain faith in that is a challenge in itself.

Hi therising,

The kids are his 18 & 20 year old. When he divorced she helped him financially by buying into his house so she owns half. She moved in to supposedly help with the kids, right after we started going out. It's been almost 3.5 years.

Yeah it is like having a housemate & she is too comfy to move back to her own place. She's 43,no partner now & no kids. He's got a fill in wife/mother. She's got the perfect family set up ,& they're like a husband ,& wife. Awful for me as I'm like a guest.

I know I need to focus, /manifest what I want...her to move out/on & my partner & I to have a normal relationship without her there all the time. She was going to move in with her bf soon but they broke up.

I don't know why this obstacle has been placed in my path in every way. She's 6ft 3, dominant & controlling personality. My partner is very placid and agreeable. My partner & I dated 30 years ago. We found each other again and he says it was like 'coming home'. Can't work out why she's been put there to interfere, and why her plans to move out failed so we've gone backward now.

Cmf x

Hi CMF

That's so beautiful how you and your partner came back together again after so long. His words which define the reunion are so soulful.

I tried opening my mind to see what naturally came in and all I got (so far) is maybe part of it could be about manifesting for her, his sister. Kind of like the more opportunities you bring into her life, the less she'll be in the house. Imagine manifesting a 2 week holiday for her, a new job that leads her to have to move closer to that job and so on. Perhaps things are still a bit raw after her relationship break up, otherwise you could consider manifesting a new guy in her life or maybe some amazing guy is exactly what she needs to be able to move on in life. Perhaps you could manifest an opportunity for her to find a new friendship circle, which would lead her to go out more.

Who knows, could the universe be challenging you to see if you hold the ability to put all things aside and manifest for your arch enemy? Sounds like the ultimate test. Could the universe be saying in some way 'It's one thing to manifest for yourself, it's quite another to do it for someone else, especially someone you don't like'. I do believe, from personal experience, the ultimate test is to come from the heart when it involves someone who's deeply upsetting. It's the test to put all ego aside. While I've been able to come from the heart (a place of love) regarding some of the people who trigger me, there are others where my heart's just not in it. It's usually the seriously self absorbed people I have the most trouble with, the ones whose minds are closed in service to themself. I'm yet to gain the ability to come from the heart, regarding such people who challenge me the most in this way. My wish for them is an open mind, so that they may clearly see how fulfilling service to others can be.

CMF, while you're obviously a very open minded person in so many amazing and beautiful ways (which inspire me), maybe this is part of your natural graduation toward opening it even more. Not sure. Maybe the test is not to get rid of her but to rid yourself of your resentment for her. Perhaps, once that's done she'll leave (test over). I have so many people who test me. Sometimes I pass the tests and sometimes I don't. When I don't pass, 1st, 2nd or 20th time around, I can be left thinking 'Why do I have to do all the hard work in this test, when the other person does little to nothing?'. The answer, 'It's my test, not theirs'.

Hi therising,

I loved your post and this 'Maybe the test is not to get rid of her but to rid yourself of your resentment for her' I would love to open my mind further to manifest for others. I've noticed she has been out & about a bit. She won't wait to meet someone. She has her own business & big circle of friends. I could manifest for her to be out more when I'm there, or for her to not hang around us. I would love for her to meet tge right guy & find happiness.

I reckon I can do what you're suggesting.

Cmf 🙏

Hi CMF

My wish for you is that this works wonders and your dreams come true. Will be interesting to hear how it goes. Your progress is always an inspiration to me. The blocks between significant growth spurts can be so challenging, that's for sure.

As mentioned, one of my greatest challenges is opening my heart to those who, for the sake of self preservation, I'm closed off to. It's so hard. Maybe the idea, in this case, is for us to open our hearts to the powers that be, in a state of faith and love. This way, it feels easier. The focus is on the the powers that be, not so much on that person. Much easier to love the universe than it is to love the person we can come to resent. Struggling with resentment a little myself at the moment, so I'll give this a go and we can compare notes perhaps.

All the best as you continue on through your graduation process :)

Hi therising,

I can't wait to compare notes. My challenge to manifest for her comes from the negativity I feel toward her for sure. Im6struggling to feel & visualise her moving on. What do I say to manifest this?

On another note, I realised that she may not be able to meet someone, have kids because she is living there & therefore telling The Universe that she has what she wants. I'll bet if she moved back into her own house, and lives like a single woman I stead of a married with kids woman, the right one would cone into her life as she would REALLY manifest it then. St the moment she's living what she wants but with her brother & his kids.

Gees, I feel the resentment & anxiety coming back. Needto change it. how do we really her to move on?

cmf x

Hi CMF

Sometimes I wish I had the instruction manual to life, this way I'd know what I was doing wrong. If such a thing existed, I imagine there'd be a chapter on 'Coming from the wrong perspective and how to stop it'. Maybe another would be 'How to manifest when someone's blocking your every move'. With that second one, it may include 'When multiple people are blocking progress'.

You know those times where you're working so hard on making progress and things are going so incredibly well (you feel yourself in the flow), then all of a sudden you come across people who don't want to budge, based on them not being able to see the way forward as clearly. You can see the most constructive and healthy way forward, as clear as day. It can even be in a way that serves everyone. But, nup, they're just not budging. Nothing you say or do will lead them to move on. I admit to being guilty of this myself at times, not budging, which drives some of those around me to frustration.

The relationship with your partner has taken everyone into a new stage of life but it sounds like you're the only one who can clearly see this new stage. You're partner maybe can't fully recognise it, his sister can't recognise it. Who knows, maybe one or both of his kids can. I think younger people can generally feel when it's time to move out and move on with life. They begin to feel certain limitations which don't allow them to move to the next stage. Maybe the question comes down to how to lead people to recognise a new stage of life. If they flat out just refuse to look at it, that's a whole other story: What to do when people choose to ignore things. Do we detach from those who ignore or do we work around them, working with all the aspects that suit us? As you can see, I have more questions than answers.

I can relate to resentment and not being able to entirely shake it and it agitates me. It's definitely an agitating feeling. I hate vibing in resentment. Hate the feeling of being on a low when I absolutely love the highs in life. My 16yo son and 19yo daughter lead me to highs whereas my husband leads me to feel lows. He's a non budger, a 'that's just me, that's just the way I am' kind of guy who feels no need for the relationship to evolve beyond what it is - deeply unfulfilling.

I've found when the vibe is high I can see the next move clearly. When it's low, only the blocks appear. Maybe the challenge is to manifest a higher vibration for ourselves and things will appear clearer.

:)

So I've been manifesting for my partners sis to meet the right one/move on. She called me tonight to te(l me she found out her ex was seeing someone else before they broke up. She also told me she was on a date tonight. Her brother doesn't know but she called me about the ex cheating cos her brother's away & she didn't want to bother him.

The guy she's on a date with sounds more on her level, got his own house, boats, more set up etc.

Maybe my manifesting is working. I was touched that she called me & I do wish happiness for her.

Cmf x

Another interesting point is that this all came about while my partner/her brother was away. She was a 'single woman this weekend as he was away & she found out about the ex cheating so she went on this date with closure, a clear mind & open heart. Funny how when you remove something from the equation (my partner/her brother) things opened up for her.

I truly hope her date goes well.

Cmf x

Hi CMF

You are a true inspiration. I imagine the Universe giving you a smile and a wink while saying 'All you need to do is trust and give things a little time'. Maybe, as an added bonus, she's naturally feeling drawn to the manifester of magic. You have just put a huge smile on my face. Wishing you only the best :)

Therising,

I'm glad I made you smile. I've woken during the night & looked at the time...4.44am. Wow this is significant for me right now.

I would really like to have that sister relationship with her. This could be our moment to start that? Another nice thing happened last night. My partner's son was home alone so called my older daughter to see if she wanted to grab some dinner. She was with me, having dinner at my nephew's but how nice that my partner's family reached out to us while he's away, both his sis & his son.

I'll keep manifesting for his sis. I feel we've broken through a barrier. She knows I'm not oblivious to things, I pick up on things. We could have more one on one chats & perhaps I could mention her having her own space to meet a guy. I feel if she really meets the right one he's not gonna want to be coming to see her at a house he shares with her bro & his kids. The right will want to be with her & just her. Family can be close but there needs to be space, privacy. I never understood how hervex was ok with the living arrangement she has considering she's 42 &they were talking about having kids. I'll message her today to see how the date went & tell her we'll talk more, sister to sister. Maybe I can mention the space thing, how it looks to The Universe, what it's putting out there.

The Universe has def answered me. It's opened opportunities for discussion, connection & openess.

Cmf x

Hi CMF

I got chills pretty much the whole way through your post :) As I may have mentioned before, that 'chill' factor is something I only experience when someone or something resonates with a deeper part of me. I suppose you could say it's like someone or something 'ringing' through to your soul, a soul call. Your post was 'chilling' while leading me to feel an incredible sense of joy. I'm so excited for you in regard to all that's opening up for you.

You got a massive smile out of me when you mentioned the 4:44. We apparently looked at the clock at exactly the same time :)

Wow, now I have chills. I also saw 5.55am. Clearly something has woken me this morning. When I had my cards read last week I was told my Mum is trying to contact me 🙏

I've had another 'A-HA' moment this morning. His sis moved in about a month after we started seeing each other again. He & I getting back together the way we did was Universe magic, all the pieces being moved around till they fitted correctly. She moved in a month later clearly so her presence wouldn't block us being together. She was always going help him out & move in. The timing of it...well.. The Universe.

When I had my cards read I was told I was going through a shift. I think this is it.

Cmf x

Her date went well. She said he was very sweet a gentleman & that she thinks she'll be seeing him again.

She hasn't told her bro as she hasn't spoken to him for days. Again...interesting...when he's out of the picture how things go we for her. She's blocking us, he's blocking her. We all need option space to welcome new relationship's & allow them to grow, even her brother & I.

Interesting

More manifesting.

I have lots of bills to pay. I knew they were coming & was thinking the best way to pay them all. I've been trying to manifest abundance more money.

Tonight I found out a show I'd booked was cancelled and they are refunding tickets.

Thank you Universe 🙏