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Forums / Staying well / Mindfulness: What Is It? (Even if you dont know please post so we can help grow the forums accordingly)

Topic: Mindfulness: What Is It? (Even if you dont know please post so we can help grow the forums accordingly)

  1. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
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    30 October 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Smallwolf and mmMekitty

    I agree and this does not just apply to mindfulness but to many concepts in mental health and life.
    people discuss what relaxation is, what meaningful life is, what having a purpose is and many more things.

    if it works for you and you want to call it mindfulness that is great and it does not matter if others agree.
    Thanks so much as I have said this before as I people have said oh know that’s not mindfulness.
    Practice and enjoy.

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  2. quirkywords
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    30 October 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Oops typos know should be no.

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  3. mmMekitty
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    30 October 2021 in reply to smallwolf

    Then again, I was just looking back & read again what Sleepy21 wrote on Sept 16, 2021:

    "I've tried some groups for mindfulness, one was really triggering
    I don't like to think about it ! It has to be more than just putting ppl in a room and telling them to focus on their hands or a place....
    I found some of it deeply upsetting
    I like techniques that effectively slow down worrying, by returning my focus to something in the present"

    In situations like joining a group, or if someone is proposing to guide you, then it is worth some time taken to have them explain exactly what they would be doing. Most definitely.

    ,

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  4. Sleepy21
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    30 October 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Hi Mmmkitty,

    After a negative experience with a group for mindfulness I got a bit put off, Ur right it has to have a focus

    I've also tried trauma yoga and found it was awful to me...so so slow that I felt unsafe in my thoughts

    Anyone had negative experiences similar? I guess it's a personal thing, how to employ mindfulness. It doesn't have to be intense, it could be just a slight and gentle atonement, rather than what I had, which as intense, hour long, pointless meditations

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  5. Sleepy21
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    30 October 2021 in reply to Sleepy21
    Slight and gentle atunement, not atonement
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  6. mmMekitty
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    31 October 2021 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hello Sleepy21, & all,

    I don't think mindfulness needs to be any sort of intense process at all. I would be most uncomfortable if I was put through what you describe. In a group setting, the people running it may have assumed everyone was comfortable with anything they would have you focus on. If you were to have someone guiding you, specifically, talk first about what you are getting into. Here a limit you set would be useful.

    That term itself, 'Trauma Yoga' sounds likely to be about a confronting practice. Again, find out more before getting into the practice. I've never heard of it, so, if someone had suggested it to me, I would be doing some research before agreeing to anything.

    I don't even want to focus inward from my skin, but instead, I prefer to be more aware of my surroundings, & any awareness of my body is secondary, & hopefully, I let those feelings slide on by.

    Usually I am all too aware of bodily sensations, many of which are either uncomfortable or painful.

    I like to take just a few minutes at a time, 'cause usually that's all I get, to give myself a break from what I'm physically feeling in my body, & from what I am emotionally feeling as well, & just sit or lie (depends where I am), & actively notice other senses, like what I hear, (other than my tinnitus), I don't like hearing noise from my neighbours, but if I am being mindful, I am trying to just let their noises slide on by without agrivating me. Just let them be.

    & when if it is about what I am eating, I focus on taste, smell & texture. I pause to notice & even appreciate my cooking, & am not rushing, gulping my meal, not registering at any of it at all. Sometimes it is really nice!

    These are just a couple examples.

    I am in control. I choose my own small mindfulness exercises. That's all it needs to be, for me, & all I want for now.

    You can use my idea for yourself, if you like, 'cause I don't own it. 😸 & I am sure I am not the only one who practices what I might call 'incidental mindfulness', or 'casual mindfulness',

    mmMekitty

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  7. smallwolf
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    1 November 2021

    Getting anxious when replying to emails is quite common apparently. I was reading an article in Forbes about mindfulness. Suggested that after replying to an email to step away and do an activity. One example might be to lie on the ground and gaze at the sky for a few minutes and knowing that you are IN nature.

    Food for thought

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  8. mmMekitty
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    1 November 2021 in reply to smallwolf

    I get anxious before & after replying to emails, & many posts as well. Does that mean I am going to spend a lot of time staring up at the sky? & (to be cheeky) what if it is raining?U

    I think something like that would be common, because we cannot see or hear the people we are about to email, (or post), & aren't able to gauge how your initial words will be taken, & do not have the luxury of adjusting on the fly, as we do when in conversation face to face, in particular, face to face. I think conversations via voice only are just a little towards what it is like via email (or posts).

    I have found myself wanting to take time to think about what I am saying more, before I send what I've written. I do not only edit spelling errors, but also might change several words, or entire paragraphs. I try to imagine how my words might be heard/read/comprehended. It can be hard work, & I often do need a break afterwards. Then I do something, then come back & begin to write the next email/post, if there is one for the while.

    mMekitty

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  9. missep123
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    11 November 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    I realised that I accidentally linked mindfulness with stress in my mind, I don't know if this has happened to anyone else.

    When I was in a very stressful job, to help me cope I would listen to guided mindfulness meditation on youtube. After I finished that job, I found hesitant to do these guided meditations again because my mind linked them to when I was stress. It 'brought me back'.

    I realised that this may be something I have to work on and 'break through the barrier'.

    I would love to know if this happened to anyone else before!

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  10. mmMekitty
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    12 November 2021 in reply to missep123

    Hello Missep123,

    I've had a similar 'triggering' when people began trying to help me relax by saying, 'relax'. That word, all by itself, & in other contexts like when I was at the dentist,& she said, 'relax' - I realised the context was also in relation to my having to permit my physical being to be vulnerable & permit actions as well. So,it wasn't just the word. either.

    Yes, it's the association with other events & feelings that causes a strong reactions.

    For me, a lot of patience,& it did get better, Plus, having experiences which were quite different from those I was associating the word with began to make the word less triggering. It doesn't have the same power as it once did.

    May I suggest, trying to use the guided meditation when you are already relaxed & feeling at peace, just for the experience of listening while not stressed for a while. Build up a mental record that says, this is good stuff or when I feel relaxed. Overwhelm the other stressful associations. In time I think you would be able to come back to using the guided meditation for when you are stressed & need some help to relax

    Hopefully, I am thinking we can teach your brain to be already partially relaxed at the mere thought of those guided meditations.

    Any thoughts on this, anyone? To be honest, I think I might not know what I am talking about! This all just sounds good to me.

    mmMekitty

  11. quirkywords
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    12 November 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    mmMekitty and everyone

    There are two words that will guarantee me to tense up and worry, when people say just relax,!

    I feel fine and calm until I am told to relax. I find it intrusive and annoying.

    People assume I am not relaxed when I am.

    Missep I relate to what you wrote in your post.

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  12. Mk2692
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    12 November 2021 in reply to LorenaC

    Hi LorenaC,

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts on mindfulness. You have provided some amazing tips for people to use and be present in the moment. For me mindfulness is being present in the moment, being here right now. Listening to the sounds of your breathing and connecting within yourself and your body. Letting go of all the noise and the external world. It is being present and not being caught up in your past or the future. I practice mindfulness through deep breathing, yoga and meditation.

  13. missep123
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    12 November 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Hi everyone!

    Reading your posts I really felt that I was not alone in how I was feeling! I really like the idea of changing the association to something more positive i.e. doing the meditation when I am already relaxed and happy. I really feel as though with mindfulness time is also very healing.

    It is great to be on this journey with everyone!

    1 person found this helpful
  14. smallwolf
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    23 November 2021 in reply to missep123

    Another thought on mindfulness...

    Mind full and mindful are different concepts.

    One is where the mind is full of unnecessary thoughts and ideas. And in the other you notice what is in front and around you.

    For example, in a park and I notice the look and feel of the grass and the trees. With the other I think of the things I haven't done, need to do, and critical of self etc

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  15. mmMekitty
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    23 November 2021 in reply to smallwolf

    Sometimes, what I want to do is to acknowledge the clamouring thoughts, memories, feelings which come from within, & to also acknowledge those intrusive sounds,sights, smells, physical sensations, from ny body & beyond, & let them all slide by, depriortised, so I can therefore, either focus on a task, like writing this post, or simply sit or recline in a restful, calm & peaceful place like being the eye of a storm. Relaxation naturally ocurring when (if) I can manage this ideal state.

    It doesn't have to be perfectly attained to be beneficial either. Just enough & the neighbour's music, a quick African drumming, lasts for half an hour at least, does not bother me nearly so much & I can write this without being so distracted, or as tense as usual. That's acceptable. Yes, I'd like more, but hat is enough to help.

    I've just thought, I want one form of mindfulness for when I am wanting to not be distracted, & to find I can render intrusive thoughts, feelings & such irrelevant.

    & the other is when I want to quiet everything, not be distracted from whatever level of relaxation I have achieved, & to maintain that state. I'm not actively doing something like writing this post, or cooking, at these times. This one is for when I want to mostly calm my inner self, preparing for sleep, perhaps, or when I have to be still at the dentist, for e/g.

    Calmness & peace to all,

    mmMekitty

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  16. missep123
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    28 November 2021 in reply to smallwolf

    Oh my, I realised that I usually have mind full rather than being mindful.

    I am exactly what you described as mind full - thoughts about what to do, what I need to do, thoughts about self etc.

    I like what you wrote mmMekitty, I want to find calm and peace! I think I am getting there more often than not but man oh man it can be difficult to do!

  17. smallwolf
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    28 November 2021 in reply to missep123

    Yes. It is harder than we might think. And I won't write about that here. In another place I compared it to learning to ride a bike. It takes practice and time etc. At the beginning it is fun and you will likely have a few crashes. Those who can do it are likely to have practiced for years. Perhaps one way of describing the process is slow and intentional.

    You do your best and that is enough.

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  18. Learn to Fly
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    28 November 2021 in reply to smallwolf

    Hi Everyone,

    Smallwolf, love the distinction between mind full and mindfulness. Such an easy way to put something that can prove so complex or difficult. We learn through all our lives and I think these days there has been that tendency towards naming or thoroughly describing what is meant by a word or a concept etc. It can be very interesting but sometimes not exactly necessary. Sometimes we might find ourselves working so hard to fulfill the definition that we loose the concept in the process.

    Personally, I find it helpful to try to remember how I did things and felt as a child or a teenager. I did some exercises which I liked and then learnt only few years ago that they are now called Pilates. Well, back then they were just exercises.
    I have always loved nature and everything that comes with it: the smell, touch, texture, colour, sounds, temperature, just feeling immersed in it… And today this is also called mindfulness.

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  19. missep123
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    29 November 2021 in reply to Learn to Fly
    Thank you everyone! It really sounds like at the end of the day it is so important to be gentle with ourselves and our progress!
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  20. blondguy
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    9 December 2021 in reply to smallwolf

    Thankyou Tim..and everyone for being a part of the discussion!..missep123...LTF...mmMekitty

    Tim mentioned 'Mind full and mindful are different concepts'...

    Nice1 👍

    Paul

  21. geoff
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    9 December 2021 in reply to missep123

    Being Mind Full can be sad, messy, confusing and not sure what direction you should be taking.

    Geoff.

  22. Sleepy21
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    9 December 2021 in reply to geoff

    Hi all, how do u feel about terms practising mindfulness or rather meditating ?

    My pharmacist recommended mediation and I was shocked to hear that term...I feel it's kinda fallen by the wayside and everything these days is mindfulness

  23. blondguy
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    11 December 2021 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hi Sleepy21

    The founder of Beyond Blue.. Jeff Kennett mentioned that the word 'depression' is a woeful name to give such a debilitating illness....and he was spot on

    Just for myself I find the term 'mindfulness' just as ineffective yet helpful to people with lower levels of anxiety and stress related symptoms.

    Qualification....Tim..(Smallwolf) did help many people when he posted (above) 'Mind full and mindful are different concepts' Tim has been helping people on this thread for a long time....and he is spot on. Thankyou Tim

    I hope everyone has a good weekend :-)

    Paul

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  24. blondguy
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    11 December 2021 in reply to geoff

    Hi Geoff

    Thanks for the post!

    Do you have any helpful ideas on how people can find some peace in their lives as an alternative to mindfulness?

    Example / what would work with OCD? Any input would benefit many people who suffer from this condition

    Cheers

    Paul

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