Online forums

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please complete your profile

Complete your profile

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community.

Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Forums / Staying well / Motivation....How do we get some....

Topic: Motivation....How do we get some....

23 posts, 0 answered
  1. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10022 posts
    1 October 2020

    Hello Everyone..

    What is motivation?......Its our general willingness to do something. It is our troubled minds that makes it hard for us to take action..

    Nearly all of the stress and anxiety in doing something is at the beginning of starting it...After we start, our motivation, seems to progress more easily ....It’s more easier to finish something than it is to start one ...One of the easiest ways of getting motivated is to write a list for a particular time of day and try to stick with it...hopefully it makes them easy to start, if we have already made that decision earlier on.

    Setting a routine or a regular time for ourselves to do something..etc...makes it more likely we will follow through..

    Does setting up a routine and sticking to it, help our motivation?..If your like me and struggle with your mental health,..Do you start to procrastinate about doing them or try waiting until you feel inspired or motivated..which isn’t very often...

    By doing choirs the same time each morning starts to develop a habit of motivation...We repeat it each day, which makes it easier to do as the days go by....Ex: each day you get up and immediately make your bed, freshen up, have a beverage and breakfast..By doing things this way we have begun a habit of motivation.

    The power of habits..develops into a mindless way of motivation..It makes starting to do something easier and following through with them on a regular daily basis much easier..helps us to develop a daily habit doing them..

    We need to try and make something to do easy and hopefully it becomes automatic...that’s why setting up a regular time is so important for us, it’s often too much work to figure out where to start or what to do... if we have written out a daily schedule of what and when to do something. it solves the problem of not knowing what to do.

    In saying all that....Does it help you to have a list ?....Making a list I still find motivation hard...I will admit that I’m a person, who’s motivation is nearly non existent ... I am still trying to learn...

    I thought that I would make this thread in the hope that we can share different strategies that might help to get each other with motivation and maybe together we can find something that can work for us...

    Do you have strategies that work for you?....How motivated are you?...let’s try to help each other to find our motivation...

    Grandy.....

    3 people found this helpful
  2. ecomama
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    ecomama avatar
    4567 posts
    1 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear Grandy, what a GREAT thread topic!

    This is a huge area of exploration for us and I'm sure BBers will provide many different ways of getting / staying / being Motivated!

    I've been exploring this subject for decades. It comes within the scope of my career lol.

    What I've learnt is that motivation is different for each person. Then also as a person grows, it can change many many times. I follow clients for years, some for decades.

    Having a "menu" to choose from has been essential.
    When I find what works for that person, I call it "the key that turns the lock".

    I prefer to always use the "abundance model" or the "strengths based approach".
    Go from a place of what you're already GOOD at!
    Be PLEASED with yourself in a very positive self talk way eg "Grandy what a wonderful breakfast you made for yourself! and I like the way you made your bed this morning, wow!"

    For my own work I used to employ the 80/20 rule espoused by Stephen Covey.
    Write a list, know you may only achieve 80% then put the next 20% onto the next day.
    When I worked for the Federal Govt up to 80 hours per week, this became desperately essential lol.
    I've changed that in my work now.

    For my personal life I think of "clouds" - this is my own strategy.
    I visualise a project completed (even if it's dinner for the whole family, 12 coming tonight and dinner's already made lol).
    I hold on to that vision, this gives me joy and pleasure as if it's already done.
    I make a list in my phone notes section of materials I'll need.
    I check if I have materials, buy what I need.
    Then look at my diary and think of blocks of time I can do that project in.
    Sometimes I put it IN my diary but this is mostly practice of keeping what's in my head as a vision.
    Then a moment of inspiration comes, the motivation to get that done and I go with it.

    I'm an extremely motivated person.

    Looking at my strengths has been the key for me out of depression.

    Much love
    EM

    1 person found this helpful
  3. tranzcrybe
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    tranzcrybe avatar
    711 posts
    1 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy

    I believe the essence of motivation is best discovered when doing nothing - absolutely nothing!

    In our time poor and constantly distracted world, the state of nothingness can be a rare commodity indeed. Hence we often find ourselves lacking motivation when stressed from tasks we need to have completed as opposed to feeling compelled to achieve (and the difference is quite startling) due to the absence of this vital component of nothingness. Interestingly, worrying, or feeling anxious or depressed, is doing something despite our physical state of inertness.

    Under such mind-consuming conditions, we can find ourselves feeling dissatisfied with our accomplishments, so the incentive to repeat the task is diminished further, leading us to avoid, delay, or simply endure under sufferance; thus perpetuating the cycle. This can apply to the workplace or home life, individual pursuits or family relationships.

    For me, doing nothing is a productive and necessary stage prior to embarking on any project - the motivation is then free to grow and manifest itself from all angles (purpose, planning, capability, risk, cost, reward). This can occur over several small stages - notably, the objective is not to consciously plan anything but allow ideas to come and go sporadically, allowing the brain to stitch it all together. The one drawback is that time frames for commencement must be flexible and compromise is sometimes inevitable.

    I had an uncle who built his own house - yes, actually built it from the ground up (many many years ago before strict building regulations!). Often, he would sit in complete silence (even in company) and when asked he would simply reply, "I'm thinking".

    I believe that motivation
    is the byproduct of inspiration
    which is the result of contemplation

    - and we need the space to contemplate many things.

    Regards,

    t.

    2 people found this helpful
  4. Emmen
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Emmen avatar
    390 posts
    1 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hello Grandy and everyone,

    I've always struggled with being motivated on a consistent basis. I'm someone who'd find motivation for a week or so, and then fall into an unmotivated state for some time after. It works well when you work in jobs that allow you free use of your own time, but not so much for routine office work.

    The one thing I've learnt is that motivation is, as Grandy says, about keeping a routine. At first, you force yourself to do that task, even if you really don't feel like doing it. You do it again and again as part of your daily routine until it becomes ingrained. Because it's so ingrained, even when you have no motivation, you'll find it less tiring to do it since it's already a part of your routine. That said, what this helps with is really just the doing part. I don't feel happy doing those tasks when I'm unmotivated.

    I've also tried rewarding myself to motivate myself. For instance, I'd tell myself that once I complete a task, I can do something else that I enjoy. This works better for me because it gives me something to look forward to. The only problem with this is that I tend to get irritable when the task takes up the whole day and I don't get enough time to enjoy my preferred activity (and that happens far too often). I still like to reward myself though, it's always good to remind myself that there are activities that I really enjoy instead of focusing on the activities I dislike.

    Cheers,
    M

    2 people found this helpful
  5. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10022 posts
    1 October 2020 in reply to Emmen

    Hello tranzcrybe, Ecomamma, Emmen, and all..

    Thank you all for joining in and sharing what helps you..

    I feel motivation does come when you have other people that you want to do things for..Like your dinner party Eco..do you think that’s motivation or maybe something else, like being very kind to the ones you love and care for?... or is it an automatic reaction to feed your family and friends..Did you have to motivate yourself to do that?..When my son used to come down to visit, I always do things with him and cook meals etc without motivation..it’s like I’m doing something naturally without any thoughts..would I be right in saying that my son was my motivation..or an automatic deed because I’m his mum..

    I am usually in a state of nothingness, because I have nothing I need to do...I have plenty of inspiration of things in my mind..finding things to do and even see the finished results in my head..but that inspiration disappears as soon I decide to start doing it..My thoughts are usually..who for, what and why am I doing this...no one will see it except me...Living alone seems to stop me from doing anything except housework..I like my home clean..but housework daily takes only an hour or so..then I have the rest of the day to fill in...I have started so many different projects that I’ve seen in my mind, but they really mean nothing to me...so I don’t complete them..

    I don’t enjoy doing things for myself...I committed myself to making a scarf for someone..I did do it, forcing myself to complete it...I felt good when I handed it her...but disliked and struggled with myself doing it...

    I think we have to do or find something we like to do..before we can motivate ourselves to do it....I’m still looking for that something I like enough to start it and complete it..

    Can anyone get motivation enough to do something for themselves only....That only you will see?

    My kind thoughts with care..

    Grandy..

    2 people found this helpful
  6. Elizabeth CP
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Elizabeth CP avatar
    2499 posts
    1 October 2020 in reply to Emmen

    I think we need to look at what is affecting our motivation for a task then adress that.

    For example I've been really tired & stressed lately so I need to allow time to stop & rest. This is hard for me because I feel guilty about not doing anything. I have to remind myself that I need the rest to be effective. If I push myself too much I'm likely to make a mistake or injure myself & that just feeds the negative thoughts & lack of motivation.

    Sometimes I feel overwhelmed & put off something because it is too hard. In this case breaking the tasks into tiny amounts or working for a set/ short time before stopping for a break helps make it feel more doable. Succeeding for that tiny time helps give more motivation

    2 people found this helpful
  7. tranzcrybe
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    tranzcrybe avatar
    711 posts
    1 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy,

    I see where you are coming from regarding purpose. I find a freshly mowed lawn and well defined garden beds is personally rewarding as I survey my labours with immodest admiration - in several senses:

    1. I have a pleasant space to sit and admire over a well earned coffee
    2. My body has benefited (and suffered) from the endeavour to keep active
    3. I have interacted at 'grass roots level' with nature and reconnected with reality through muddied hands and moistened brow

    Where the benefits justify or even outweigh the labour, my motivation is reinforced. I try to avoid 'chores' in the literal sense as I find that unfulfilling. One attribute in my methodology is spontaneity as I usually haven't decided on anything beyond the sudden urge from my subconscious prompting me to leap into action - it creates a feeling of enjoyment and uncertainty in equal measure.

    Have you ever felt the need to embark on something for no perceived purpose only to find it full of wonder and surprise? Could you perhaps be denying yourself the benefits of motivation by focusing on the outcome, namely the completed task?

    There are many sensory bonuses along the journey to add meaning in all dimensions - personally gratifying even when the task may not be.

    Regards,

    t.

    1 person found this helpful
  8. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9780 posts
    1 October 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP
    Hi Grandy

    A great thread here. Thankyou.

    I was lucky in 1983 to attend a motivation lectures that changed my life (thread: 30 minutes can change your life).

    By far one of my own ideas that has contributed to my motivation is going against my own "easy way out" decision making. This was the topic in the thread "switching mindsets".

    The concept is this- you're sitting on the couch vegetarian it seems. Your daily plan is a 20 minute walk but it's easier to remain seated. So, here is the trick- you physically move without thinking about it- you switch your mindset to do physically what your mind is not wanting to do. Sounds hard, I find it easy and do it all the time now.

    We've just built our own home and many times my mind wanted to stop climbing the ladder- I'd climb it twice, stop painting the next weatherbiard- I'd paint it plus two more before retiring the day.

    Kathy Watt, gold medalist cyclist had a similar theme. She was taught to ordeal her best to get in front, then as she felt she was giving 100%, she would put out 10% extra, then 3 minutes later another 10%, nobody could catch her because she excelled by not accepting physically that she was putting out her maximum effort. She made her body dictate her mind.

    TonyWK
    2 people found this helpful
  9. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    14715 posts
    1 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    What an interesting thread Grandy. So many fascinating ideas.

    I remember someone tell me if you wait for motivation you will be waiting forever.

    Like Tony you just do it. I am not motivated to write but I write a weekly blog and just sit at the type writer and write.Some days I not motivated to get dressed but I do it.

    motivation is a luxury I dont have,

    2 people found this helpful
  10. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10022 posts
    2 October 2020 in reply to quirkywords

    Hello Elizabeth, tranzcrybe, Tony, Quirky..

    Thank you all for your very informative posts..

    My lack of motivation comes from I think both depression and no interest in doing things..

    I can and do keep my home clean and mostly my lawn mowed..these are not that hard to do...Tony I have at times reversed my thoughts and just jumped up and done the lawn, when I didn’t want to.,that works very well although a bit hard to do that at times..

    Its through the day, when everything I do to do is done..lMy concentration is no longer with me...I can do a lot of things..sewing, knitting, crotect, embroidery, etc..pick them up and start to do them..Last only a half hour or so..then my interest and want has gone...Yet I can sit for hours playing internet games....which isn’t giving me any exercise and not using my brain at all....

    I like what you said about Kathy Watts, Tony and it’s something I will definitely try...Thank you for sharing that..

    Transcrybe, yes I think purpose of doing something is my biggest struggle to get over...Doing anything for others is so easy..doing something just to fill in time, with no purpose or having no use of the finished product..definitely is hard to bypass, thoughts of why, what and who for..

    Do you people need to have a reason, or a use for what you do..I mean apart from daily housework, garden work and so on...or can you just do something for yourself, that’s not really needed by you or family members..it’s just something to fill in time, that has no significant value or use to you at all ?..

    Sorry if I’m not making sense or I’m hard to understand..I am trying to learn....I like what you’ve all suggested and will try to follow you’re suggestions..

    Kind and caring thoughts..

    Grandy..

    3 people found this helpful
  11. tranzcrybe
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    tranzcrybe avatar
    711 posts
    3 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy,

    Haven't forgotten you, just processing your question.

    "Do you people need to have a reason, or a use for what you do..I mean apart from daily housework, garden work and so on...or can you just do something for yourself, that’s not really needed by you or family members..it’s just something to fill in time, that has no significant value or use to you at all"

    I enjoy taking things apart to see how they work - clockwork is a particular interest of mine. I find much pleasure coming to terms with the logic of internal mechanisms, unravelling the mystery of gadgets and machinery (then trying to remember how to put it all back together again!).

    Practising on non functioning equipment is a safe path (in preference to dismantling that 100 year old pocket watch) since its destination would otherwise be the bin. It can be mentally engaging, also requiring a steady hand and attentive eye, with the added bonus of finding the problem and making it all go again: and then I can sit in wonder at my genius (lol, when all I have really done is tighten a screw or replace a connector). I guess it's my own personal meditation.

    Although these endeavours produce things of value and usefulness, the overriding purpose is self awareness - coming to terms with how much I don't know and yet still feeling the need to grapple and comprehend.

    Then again, isn't this the very essence of life?

    Regards,

    t.

    1 person found this helpful
  12. ecomama
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    ecomama avatar
    4567 posts
    3 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy

    I love this thread and your questions are really apt for what you're going through.
    I admire this self seeking very much.

    I don't have my own friends over much AT ALL.... can't remember the last time actually.

    I have dear friends who are going through serious (terminal) health problems.
    I felt really low about this earlier this year... then I turned this thinking on it's head.... I have NOW. That's all I have with those friends... the precious present.

    I had a book called "The Precious Present" ages ago and I think I had a paradigm confirmation lol as opposed to "paradigm shift".... use every second.

    I started a thread about Healing... I truly believe that one of the most important things we need to be able to heal, is relationships. Don't cry please! I'm not saying we CAN heal relationships... that takes TWO or more ppl.

    I mean forming ANY relationships. Being and feeling connected.

    When I had this conversation with my adult children earlier this year (they were also feeling disconnected)... we all made a pact to contact someone and ask how they were going. Even via text is great! We do this weekly or more now.

    Just that opener has revealed the most awful times ppl are going through. It's very sad but they know they are not alone. We care.

    We are the lucky ones lol... we have the BB forums.

    Even dropping by on a neighbour on our walk and asking how they're going can MAKE THEIR DAY. Even their week or month you may be surprised.

    Grandy if you don't have IRL people then THEY are REALLY missing out on a wonderful kind and caring lady in their lives. I feel really lucky to have you, just saying lol.

    In answer to your question, I don't have to "make myself" do most of the things I do.
    I CHOOSE to. Even if they're yucky like cleaning out our "dungeon" of ex demons stuff and RUBBISH. I'm giving lots of stuff to a family of 5, both parents lost their jobs and they're selling it for money to keep.

    HELPING others is deeply rewarding. Have you thought of looking up a Local Food Pantry and asking if you can help?
    My Church has a BRILLIANT food pantry and they always want helpers. You don't have to be a Christian to go to my Church lol EVERY ONE is valued and welcomed.

    Being Socially connected is REALLY important for our healing.

    So much motivation can come from helping others.
    It's my entire career and being a mum of many, it's most of my personal life too.

    Love EM

    2 people found this helpful
  13. Elizabeth CP
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Elizabeth CP avatar
    2499 posts
    3 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Grandy asked can you just do something for yourself, that’s not really needed by you or family members.. it’s just something to fill in time, that has no significant value or use to you at all ?..

    My answer is NO. If something has no value or meaning doing it to fill in time is VERY unmotivating.

    To be motivated we need to have a reason to do something & that is personal. For example my SIL loves knitting & makes lovely jumpers etc. She loves the satisfaction from achieving something but also finds the process relaxing. On the other hand I hate knitting I am terrible at it so I could never produce anything worthwhile so it is a waste of time & energy me doing it because all I'll get is more frustrated. We need to find things which we find some benefit from doing not what suits others.

    Meaningful activities don't have to produce tangible concrete results.

    Some time ago my psych sent me a list of 100 activities to try. Because of my depression it was hard to find pleasure in anything. The psych explained that I needed to start feeling small boosts of pleasure to help lift me The idea was for me to go through the list & pick a few things that I thought might work Then whenever I had a short period of time I could refer to my list & try something I'd marked on it. In this case the goal wasn't about filling in time or doing something others would class as useful. Instead the aim was to see if doing that thing helped my mood. If it did then that was useful to know to help my depression but if it didn't I'd learnt something about what doesn't work so still useful for me.

    To become motivated we need to see some benefit for ourselves even if that benefit is relaxing us or helping our mood both essential in managing MI.

    4 people found this helpful
  14. ecomama
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    ecomama avatar
    4567 posts
    4 October 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    I agree with you ElizabethCP.

    Some things that relax others and they find enjoyment in would DRIVE ME CRAZY lol.... but I know it's the same for me... some things I LOVE doing like gardening, drives most ppl I know mental lol.

    I love that your psych sent you a list of 100 things that might spark an interest for you!

    That leads straight to my undies drawer lol!! No one else SEES my undies drawer but when I heard the most delightful ideas of Marie Kondo and Konmari I decided to DO THAT. There's a free online Audio book to listen to.

    Now my undies and socks are all folded the Konmari way and they are in rainbow coloured order!
    So are my t-shirts... all standing upright and in colour order.

    There's a purpose to this for me. It lets me see all of them at a glance and I LOVE that I don't have to rummage through to find what I want to wear.

    I have to redo my wardrobe and shoes... that's gotten out of hand lol.

    With THINGS like photos around the place, the idea is to surround yourself with things that "spark JOY". You hold it in your hand and if it sparks joy (or is very useful like a potato peeler lol) then keep it. If not, discard or store in the case of photos.

    Gardening sparks joy for me! My problem is that I have TOO MANY projects that I'm excited about and never enough hours in the day lol.

    Did you find what sparked joy for you ElizabethCP?

    Is there anything that sparks joy for you Grandy?

    (I'm about to try to SPARK JOY in cleaning the downstairs bathroom grrr. I will need some upbeat music to help there!)

    Love EM

    1 person found this helpful
  15. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10022 posts
    4 October 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Hello Transcrybe, Elizabeth, Ecomamma and all..

    I like the 100 things to do list Elizabeth and your thoughts about how they are used to find out what you like doing..

    I have done many things over the years..Transcrybe I have even dismantled clocks and fixed them...Every time I started doing something, ie: long stitch, cross stitch, antique doll and ornament collecting, knitting, embroidery, painting or drawing..my late husband took over and started doing my work...why? because for those few hours, he wasn’t the centre of my attention, he took over completely from me..and I was sitting next to him watching him do my projects...These “hobbies” have no joy in them for me anymore...

    Gardening I like, but my arthritic bones don’t allow me more then a few minutes before they start becoming to painful to do much...mowing my lawn, knocks me down for a few days afterwards...

    Internet games..yes I can spend hours on...but these are not healthy, physically or mentally stimulating...

    Right now I’m searching the web to see if I can find something, or some kind of hobby that could hold my interest longer then a few minutes...

    Tomorrow I need to mow my large lawn...motivation or no motivation it has to be mowed...

    Thank you all for your inspiring posts...

    I agree with your psych Elizabeth...finding small boosts of pleasure does lift us a bit... Unfortunately..Depression can even make those small boosts of pleasure impossible to find..

    Kind and caring thoughts..

    Grandy..

    1 person found this helpful
  16. tranzcrybe
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    tranzcrybe avatar
    711 posts
    4 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy,

    Sorry if I triggered anything for you regarding hobbies, but I think we may have stumbled upon the cause of your lack of motivation... The negative association of your late husband and his intervention is something you would not want to revisit, and when you attempt to embark on any project, these feelings may still be shutting you down - even subliminally.

    Take care Grandy, I also find relaxing in the sunshine a productive way to fill my days, just a human being is good enough in place of a human doing.

    BTW, you might be motivated to buy a goat - nature's lawn mower!

    Regards,

    t.

    1 person found this helpful
  17. Elizabeth CP
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Elizabeth CP avatar
    2499 posts
    4 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Grandy I wish I could disagree with your statement . Unfortunately.. Depression can even make those small boosts of pleasure impossible to find.. My psych's ideas are great but depression gets in the way. Lately I am given good ideas which make sense but things get in the way & depression takes over so even little things are hard.

    Another thing I was told was to reward approximates particularly important when struggling. Having a go is better than not trying. Getting part way even if it's not finished or done perfectly is better than nothing. Notice the little achuevments.

    I went for a walk with my grandsons the other day (physically distanced, with masks & within 5km of home so all legal!!!) Someone had made some massive bike jumps out of dirt. The older one managed to jump between two of them & was very happy. The younger one accepted that he was too small to make the distance without injury (fortunately) so he would leap up to climb the jumps & was proud of himself making it up to the top & then jumping down. There is a lesson for us. Rather than comparing ourselves with others & feeling like a failure it is far better to celebrate our successes based on our own abilities & the effort we have made to improve. If only I could follow my own advice!!!

    2 people found this helpful
  18. ecomama
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    ecomama avatar
    4567 posts
    4 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy

    I get exactly what you mean about your LATE H.... ex demon from here would ALWAYS do that but with alot of bad language and name calling and destroy it all anyway... I'm finding so many destroyed projects of mine downstairs atm and they're going out for a Council pick up this week!
    If it doesn't "spark joy" then it's not staying and they don't.
    I had bad PTSD triggers even thinking about doing any of those things after Courts were done.

    SO now we are both on the other side of those ppl.

    I reclaimed my life and I say affirmations of that type all the time. I also had CBT and exposure therapy to help me reclaim my life.

    What helped me.... having another person with me to "co-regulate" my feelings.
    I hired a gardener to work WITH me.
    This worked!
    I can now garden keeping my focus if it strays and knowing it can't harm me if memories come.

    Doing things differently... I am doing EVERYTHING MY WAY. And it's not here to carry on lololol.

    If you can use your computer without much discomfort have you thought about doing online drawing?
    Maybe learning how to create Birthday cards for your grandies online?

    You can take a photo of the lovely surrounds and turn it into something WILD and beautiful then make it into cards to mail. Stuff like that.

    EM

    1 person found this helpful
  19. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10022 posts
    5 October 2020 in reply to tranzcrybe

    Hello Everyone..

    tranzcrybe, no you didn’t trigger me at all..Please don’t be sorry...I know that the reason I cannot do the previous hobbies I used to do is because of memories...So I stay away from them mostly..but will at times give them a go..(a bit of exposure therapy)...as my psych says...just can’t get the interest in them anymore...

    Eco..I am very happy that you have reclaimed your life and doing things your way...That’s gold dear Eco...I admire your strength and determination...I am still trying to discover who I am..or who I would have been, if I hadn’t been abused and told how, what and when to do things....Since I was a very young child up until 7 years ago...

    I don’t have a computer..only an I pad...

    I have been thinking and wanting to try to make peanut butter cookies...Last night I just got up and made them..my furs love them...me not so much..

    Today..I mowed my lawn..It looked quite nice, so I decided to continue to stay outside and I weeded the garden...That all took around 4 hours...

    Mowing the lawn was hard to get started, but once I did, mowing and being outside motivated me enough to also weed the garden...Yay me..

    Did any of you beautiful people, reading or posting here..got some motivation and did something today?..

    My kind and caring thoughts..

    Grandy..

    2 people found this helpful
  20. Elizabeth CP
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Elizabeth CP avatar
    2499 posts
    5 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Good on you for making the biscuits (you now know they're not your favourite flavour so you learnt something)

    Great that you did the lawn & felt like weeding afterwards. That illustrates what motivation is about. That bit of success inspires more motivation.

    Today I finished editing a medical summary for my husband with his speech therapist's input. Have printed it & put it in his file so it can be used if/ when he goes to hospital. Good to get it finished.

    2 people found this helpful
  21. ecomama
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    ecomama avatar
    4567 posts
    5 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    GOOD ON YOU for mowing AND weeding. Huge triumph there Grandy! I bet it looks really great now? Well done you. xxxx

    Maybe you've shown yourself that "doing the thing gets more energy to DO the thing"?

    I cleaned the downstairs bathroom till 2am waiting for my kids to finish work and come home.
    I can't sleep soundly till they're home.

    I had a belated birthday outing gift all day yesterday... ate yummy Vietnamese food.
    Felt VERY tired afterwards.

    Well done on trying a new recipe too! I wouldn't like peanut butter cookies either but I think my poodle would LOVE them like your fur babies did!! LOL. He's on a diet lol so none for him.

    Have you seen the awesome recipes for pet treats online? I used to make those years ago.

    We have an Easy Peasy recipe thread for easy recipes here... please have a look and ADD if you like!

    I also get memories which used to trigger me pretty badly, not so much trigger any more, I just remember certain horrible things when I start to do something. It IS exposure therapy to keep going but saying to myself "This is MY thing now. You can't hurt me ANY MORE" is part of my reclaiming.

    Today I have a Builder coming at 7am lol. My Uncle around 9am. I've been motivated to clear a MASSIVE lot of demons stuff OUT and Council will pick all the rubbish up tomorrow night.
    I found lots of pretty cool stuff too! 28 flat packed storage boxes, wow. I had a go at putting them together. I had triggers SO I put on a favourite series of mine from ABC iView and kept going.
    I made 6! only 22 left to go lol.

    I haven't finished clearing out.... got a LONG way to go and my leave finishes in a week. I'll have to continue when I can over time.

    Love EM

    1 person found this helpful
  22. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    16466 posts
    5 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    .Hello Grandy and to everyone who has replied, the question you have asked 'What is motivation?

    Motivation is what drives us towards a goal, what keeps us going when things get tough but this will only be the situation if you're able to cope with the hard decisions, however, when we are faced with depression, we are unable to even want this to happen.

    There are so many tangents and differentiations when motivation is concerned and can change from age, the type of situation we're in, whether we have a partner or spouse, because if we believe something is right, then we have a much change to be successful, but if it fails, then it's whether or not we can move on and be positive.

    My motivation has certainly been different from before and after depression and is constantly changing on a daily basis.

    Take care.

    Geoff.

    1 person found this helpful
  23. ecomama
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    ecomama avatar
    4567 posts
    5 October 2020 in reply to geoff

    Hi Grandy and everyone

    I revived the 3 small or big achievements thread.

    When I felt depressed my day was much of a blur...

    I think writing down any achievements we've made during the day can help us SEE what we may not otherwise notice at all.

    Something to be proud of.

    Love EM

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up