Considering ,many of us that have a mental illness live our lives in extremes, we have to realise that many or even most of our behaviour is at the ends of tolerance.
My wife and I have a dear friend. He's 81yo and we met him when riding our motorcycles in this vast country of ours. This week he arrived unannounced as he didnt have our phone number. We made him welcome. He is single and lonely. He left today, 6 days after her arrived. In my mind he stayed 2-3 days too long. So how did I tolerate these last few day?
My main method was to go for a short walk or bury my head in the garage and leave him talking to my wife. Bare in mind that there is zero wrong with this visitor of ours....its all got to do with my level of tolerance of others. It has upset my routine, I've had dozens more coffees and teas than usual and I delayed my personal projects I love doing. This is where the guilt comes in.
We are retired. We should be able to delay projects. We should tolerate visitors especially the friends we have because we have surrounded ourselves with kind loving people and one of them is this fellow. But 3 days is my max before I really want them to leave. On this occasion this chap was from Tassy and he arrived here earlier than he expected as the friends he was going to visit had moved and he, all of a sudden, had 6 days left with nowhere to go. So I dont think this is going to be the norm.
As I said, its my guilt I'm wrestling with. My inability to be patient (and I've tried everything there). I do "blame" it on my issues of bipolar 2, dysthymia, depression etc but whatever it is thats responsible one cant pull tolerance out of a hat and apply it. And one moves away from mentioning the dreaded words "I've got a mental illness" to explain when you need to have space for even 30 minutes to clear your head.
How do you deal with these "demons" that wrestle within?