Things have really gone badly for you recently with your parent moving away and losing your job among other things and so your reactions to all of this would be normal. I was listening to a podcast some of the things you mentioned in your post are really stressful events. You are allowed to feel down, frustrated, etc.
As you have been here before, you would know that other users are accepting and non-judgemental and supportive. There are a number of good threads on the forums including the BB Cafe and other social threads. I would suggest you have a look at and perhaps participate in some threads if you feel up to it. It won't replace your best friend... though gain a number of virtual friends in this space.
Finally, a couple of year ago, I had to maintain a number of journals - things to the thankful for, and positive things in the day, etc. There were days when things I looked forward to were negative things. Clearly the wrong things to write down. I had to flip my thoughts. At the time I did not believe the positive thing I wrote down, but... over time things can change.
I will listen to your story. Hopefully I might be able to give a few
tips and ideas. I would also hope you might be able to get professional
help if you feel it would help you to find a way to move forward.