Online forums

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please complete your profile

Complete your profile

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community.

Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Forums / Staying well / Talking to your inner critic, can it be tamed?

Topic: Talking to your inner critic, can it be tamed?

  1. Elizabeth CP
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Elizabeth CP avatar
    2429 posts
    26 May 2021 in reply to quirkywords
    I've been using the chart sometimes more effectively than other times. One thing I've noticed is that I feel much better mood wise as well as fatigue when I don't push myself and force myself to have breaks(something which does not come naturally) If I am put under pressure then things go downhill very fast. I need to be better at telling others no rather than pushing myself to keep up with their expectatins
  2. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    12409 posts
    26 May 2021 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Thanks Elizabeth.

    I too find putting pressure on me doesn’t work . It is hard not feel u der pressure at times.

  3. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    12409 posts
    17 June 2021 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hello everyone reading,

    I observe people on this forum and in my life who are so kind and caring to others but are critical of themselves and very judgmental.

    I find it hard to see why we can’t treat ourselves well. I am guilty of this and keep trying to be kinder to myself less critical.

  4. CMF
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    CMF avatar
    8660 posts
    17 June 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi Quirky,

    So true. I made a few mistakes at work this week. 1 was cos I didn't know, 1 was a typo. Since working from home I've lost my confidence. I'm not t set up like the office, system is slow or drops out. I've been anxious. I had as chat to one of my managers and told her I fe feel like a failure, like I've let people down. She said no. We all make mistakes, we'rehuman, that I am so good at my job and everyone adores me. I still useless yet when others make mistakes I consider why. Lack of training? Not understanding? Hadnt6been shown/told? On the other hand, I've learnt new things. I came across things I hadn't done before. I did things I hadn't done before. I worked things out that I didn't know. I realised things. I attempted things I'd never done cos my colleague was away. I learnt.

    I still see myself as failing though. I'm back in the office next week to help boost my confidence.

    Cmf x

  5. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    12409 posts
    17 June 2021 in reply to CMF

    Cmf

    Thanks for explaining how you feel. Many can relate to what you wrote.
    I like the way you have insights into your thinking. You have listed all the things you have learnt and why you have made mistakes and how you try to understand others mistakes.

    I try not to use the word fail because in reality as you have mentioned you learnt a lot.

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8756 posts
    17 June 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi Quirky, CMF and all reading,

    The words we use certainly make a difference to how we see, perceive, accept and react to different situations. This was pointed out recently on a different thread.

    I know I can re-train my mind to not get stuck in the negatives, it is just not always easy to do so! Sometimes I do not even realise how negative my thoughts have become as that is how I think generally when dealing depressed.

    Maybe I need to make up a list of opposites. Accepting and positive words and phrases to replace my negative thoughts I think about myself and my life.

    Something to ponder and to try to implement.

    Cheers all from Dools

  7. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    12409 posts
    18 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Thanks Dools,

    I think not just opposites but looking at how damaging the word fail or hopeless, useless. They are very generals doing inflexible.

    Thanks for your comment.

  8. CMF
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    CMF avatar
    8660 posts
    20 June 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    My inner critic is telling me how useless I am. I just let people down.

    Guess it's the anxiety fuelling it.

  9. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    12409 posts
    20 June 2021 in reply to CMF

    CMF,

    what does useless mean. You work and communicate well. With others, you are bringing up several humans to be responsible adults, you are a thoughtful partner , you share your thoughts here with others so they don’t feel alone. I think that shows how useful you are.

    Ignore your inner critic .

    Now listen to the positive feedback you receive from others.

    1 person found this helpful
  10. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    12409 posts
    8 July 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Whenever I feel a bit lost or insecure I come here to reflect and find some inner strength to stop my negative thoughts.

    I am keeping my inner critic at bay by looking for the things I can do .

  11. startingnew
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    startingnew avatar
    5858 posts
    10 July 2021 in reply to Quercus
    You guys seem great at managing this inner critic, i would really appreciate if anyone could have a look at my newer thread, im wondering if you guys could offer some tips for me to try and manage
  12. Sleepy21
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Sleepy21 avatar
    4159 posts
    10 July 2021
    hello startingnew, what is ur thread called? thanks
  13. startingnew
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    startingnew avatar
    5858 posts
    10 July 2021 in reply to Sleepy21
    Hi Sleepy, my thread is called 'struggling with anxiety and self doubt over a great opportunity'
  14. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    12409 posts
    10 July 2021 in reply to startingnew

    Thanks starting new.

    Sleepy I was going to ask same question.

    Starting is that in anxiety section.

  15. startingnew
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    startingnew avatar
    5858 posts
    11 July 2021 in reply to quirkywords
    Thanks Quirky, Yeah it was in the Anxiety section but i see youve posted there, thank you <3>
    1 person found this helpful
  16. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    12409 posts
    12 July 2021 in reply to startingnew
    Starting new
    I find that little voice that doubts is there whenever we try anything mew. It says you're making mess of it you're going to fail you gonna mess things up that voice is would I call my inner critic.
    instead of cheering me on it is the voice of Doom.
    I think the trick is to replace it with a positive voice like Bob the builder yes I can.
    1 person found this helpful
  17. startingnew
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    startingnew avatar
    5858 posts
    14 July 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Thank you Quirky,

    yes i agree, anything new causes this! i think this one in particular is more nerve wracking but im glad to have the opportunity too. i just have to curb the self doubt and the inner critic saying i cant do it

  18. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    12409 posts
    15 July 2021 in reply to startingnew

    Starting new

    i think if you can break down your new opportunity into small parts so it does not overwhelm you.

    Find a positive voice to counter your critic.

  19. startingnew
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    startingnew avatar
    5858 posts
    17 July 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Thanks Quirky

    yes i think breaking it down will be good. might help with the nerves i feel. i am working to try and get better and the weaknesses i think ill encounter so i can try and be better

    SN

    xox

  20. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    12409 posts
    19 July 2021 in reply to startingnew

    Starting New

    I like your attitude and determination to try hard to chnage. let us know how you go with your new opportunity.

  21. startingnew
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    startingnew avatar
    5858 posts
    25 July 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Thanks Quirky

    i am always trying to improve myself. With the current covid situation though if lockdown gets extended much more though looks like it might even have to be cancelled

  22. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    12409 posts
    25 July 2021 in reply to startingnew

    SN that would be sad but maybe you may get another chance if it was cancelled.

    I admire you attitude.

  23. startingnew
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    startingnew avatar
    5858 posts
    25 July 2021 in reply to quirkywords
    Thank you for your support and advice Quirky xox
  24. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    12409 posts
    12 August 2021 in reply to startingnew

    I think people’s inner critic tends to come out in lockdown when we may see others busy baking, being creative, exercising. We may compare ourselves to others and feel a bit la y.

    My inner critic nags me to do more I am doing what I can.

  25. MarkPiz
    MarkPiz avatar
    9 posts
    8 November 2021
    My inner critic is comparing myself to others. These others are people who are younger than me and who seem to have made something of themselves. It totally disregards me and the things I have done, are doing and perhaps will do in the future.

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up