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Forums / Staying well / Talking to your inner critic, can it be tamed?

Topic: Talking to your inner critic, can it be tamed?

  1. Elizabeth CP
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    26 May 2021 in reply to quirkywords
    I've been using the chart sometimes more effectively than other times. One thing I've noticed is that I feel much better mood wise as well as fatigue when I don't push myself and force myself to have breaks(something which does not come naturally) If I am put under pressure then things go downhill very fast. I need to be better at telling others no rather than pushing myself to keep up with their expectatins
  2. quirkywords
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    26 May 2021 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Thanks Elizabeth.

    I too find putting pressure on me doesn’t work . It is hard not feel u der pressure at times.

  3. quirkywords
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    17 June 2021 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hello everyone reading,

    I observe people on this forum and in my life who are so kind and caring to others but are critical of themselves and very judgmental.

    I find it hard to see why we can’t treat ourselves well. I am guilty of this and keep trying to be kinder to myself less critical.

  4. CMF
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    18 June 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi Quirky,

    So true. I made a few mistakes at work this week. 1 was cos I didn't know, 1 was a typo. Since working from home I've lost my confidence. I'm not t set up like the office, system is slow or drops out. I've been anxious. I had as chat to one of my managers and told her I fe feel like a failure, like I've let people down. She said no. We all make mistakes, we'rehuman, that I am so good at my job and everyone adores me. I still useless yet when others make mistakes I consider why. Lack of training? Not understanding? Hadnt6been shown/told? On the other hand, I've learnt new things. I came across things I hadn't done before. I did things I hadn't done before. I worked things out that I didn't know. I realised things. I attempted things I'd never done cos my colleague was away. I learnt.

    I still see myself as failing though. I'm back in the office next week to help boost my confidence.

    Cmf x

  5. quirkywords
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    18 June 2021 in reply to CMF

    Cmf

    Thanks for explaining how you feel. Many can relate to what you wrote.
    I like the way you have insights into your thinking. You have listed all the things you have learnt and why you have made mistakes and how you try to understand others mistakes.

    I try not to use the word fail because in reality as you have mentioned you learnt a lot.

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Doolhof
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    18 June 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi Quirky, CMF and all reading,

    The words we use certainly make a difference to how we see, perceive, accept and react to different situations. This was pointed out recently on a different thread.

    I know I can re-train my mind to not get stuck in the negatives, it is just not always easy to do so! Sometimes I do not even realise how negative my thoughts have become as that is how I think generally when dealing depressed.

    Maybe I need to make up a list of opposites. Accepting and positive words and phrases to replace my negative thoughts I think about myself and my life.

    Something to ponder and to try to implement.

    Cheers all from Dools

  7. quirkywords
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    18 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Thanks Dools,

    I think not just opposites but looking at how damaging the word fail or hopeless, useless. They are very generals doing inflexible.

    Thanks for your comment.

  8. CMF
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    21 June 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    My inner critic is telling me how useless I am. I just let people down.

    Guess it's the anxiety fuelling it.

  9. quirkywords
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    21 June 2021 in reply to CMF

    CMF,

    what does useless mean. You work and communicate well. With others, you are bringing up several humans to be responsible adults, you are a thoughtful partner , you share your thoughts here with others so they don’t feel alone. I think that shows how useful you are.

    Ignore your inner critic .

    Now listen to the positive feedback you receive from others.

    1 person found this helpful
  10. quirkywords
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    8 July 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Whenever I feel a bit lost or insecure I come here to reflect and find some inner strength to stop my negative thoughts.

    I am keeping my inner critic at bay by looking for the things I can do .

  11. startingnew
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    10 July 2021 in reply to Quercus
    You guys seem great at managing this inner critic, i would really appreciate if anyone could have a look at my newer thread, im wondering if you guys could offer some tips for me to try and manage
  12. Guest_1643
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    10 July 2021
    hello startingnew, what is ur thread called? thanks
  13. startingnew
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    10 July 2021 in reply to Guest_1643
    Hi Sleepy, my thread is called 'struggling with anxiety and self doubt over a great opportunity'
  14. quirkywords
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    11 July 2021 in reply to startingnew

    Thanks starting new.

    Sleepy I was going to ask same question.

    Starting is that in anxiety section.

  15. startingnew
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    11 July 2021 in reply to quirkywords
    Thanks Quirky, Yeah it was in the Anxiety section but i see youve posted there, thank you <3>
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  16. quirkywords
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    12 July 2021 in reply to startingnew
    Starting new
    I find that little voice that doubts is there whenever we try anything mew. It says you're making mess of it you're going to fail you gonna mess things up that voice is would I call my inner critic.
    instead of cheering me on it is the voice of Doom.
    I think the trick is to replace it with a positive voice like Bob the builder yes I can.
    1 person found this helpful
  17. startingnew
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    14 July 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Thank you Quirky,

    yes i agree, anything new causes this! i think this one in particular is more nerve wracking but im glad to have the opportunity too. i just have to curb the self doubt and the inner critic saying i cant do it

  18. quirkywords
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    15 July 2021 in reply to startingnew

    Starting new

    i think if you can break down your new opportunity into small parts so it does not overwhelm you.

    Find a positive voice to counter your critic.

  19. startingnew
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    17 July 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Thanks Quirky

    yes i think breaking it down will be good. might help with the nerves i feel. i am working to try and get better and the weaknesses i think ill encounter so i can try and be better

    SN

    xox

  20. quirkywords
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    19 July 2021 in reply to startingnew

    Starting New

    I like your attitude and determination to try hard to chnage. let us know how you go with your new opportunity.

  21. startingnew
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    25 July 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Thanks Quirky

    i am always trying to improve myself. With the current covid situation though if lockdown gets extended much more though looks like it might even have to be cancelled

  22. quirkywords
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    25 July 2021 in reply to startingnew

    SN that would be sad but maybe you may get another chance if it was cancelled.

    I admire you attitude.

  23. startingnew
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    25 July 2021 in reply to quirkywords
    Thank you for your support and advice Quirky xox
  24. quirkywords
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    12 August 2021 in reply to startingnew

    I think people’s inner critic tends to come out in lockdown when we may see others busy baking, being creative, exercising. We may compare ourselves to others and feel a bit la y.

    My inner critic nags me to do more I am doing what I can.

  25. MarkPiz
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    8 November 2021
    My inner critic is comparing myself to others. These others are people who are younger than me and who seem to have made something of themselves. It totally disregards me and the things I have done, are doing and perhaps will do in the future.
  26. quirkywords
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    12 December 2021 in reply to MarkPiz

    MarkPiz

    thanks for your reply. Sorry it took me a while to see your reply.

    I think sometimes we need to challenge our inner critic by saying I may not be as young as others but I have achieved alot.

    Can you focus on your positives and try to ignore the inner negative voice?

  27. quirkywords
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    14 February 2022 in reply to quirkywords

    Hello everyone

    I hope 2022 is a hopeful year for everyone.

    How is your inner voice, your inner critic , or whatever you call that negative voice that puts you down and doubts your efforts. Some people even give the voice a persons name.

    When I find myself listening to my inner voice telling me what mess I have made, I start to think is this real, can I reword it, from you have made a mess, to I made a small mistake but I have learnt from that and I feel proud and confident.

    Sometimes the inner critic runs me down and I take on the negativity but I am trying hard to silence the critic.

    How are going in taming your inner critic. .?

  28. quirkywords
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    30 March 2022 in reply to quirkywords

    Hello everyone,

    I wonder if like me when you get unexpected criticism from family your inner critic wants to join in.

    This usually happens to me but this time I found myself fighting back, trying to be assertive but mostly being emotional. Then later the inner critic was loudly telling me that my fami,y didn’t think I was a good parent and grandparent.

    i am still sorting out my reactions and feel the complaints were unfair.
    the inner critic is still there but I feel more indignant that the criticism from family was so unfair.
    How do others cope in this situation. .?

  29. Ggrand
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    30 March 2022 in reply to quirkywords

    Hello Quirky,

    I am so sure my inner critic just loves to hate me....

    Isn’t it strange how it lingers in the background of our minds..It’s in their 24/7 just waiting to spring upon us so quickly when something is said to hurt us...Were is our loving, caring inner critic at the time we need it most....it’s swallowed up by the mean, hurtful inner critic in us....

    Do we even have a nice kind inner critic in us...Has anyone ever heard from their kind and caring, soul building inner critic....I wonder?

    My kind thoughts, Dear Quirky and everyone..

    Grandy..

  30. quirkywords
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    30 March 2022 in reply to Ggrand

    Thanks Grandy for your post but Isish you didn’t have an inner critic,

    For me all inner critics are negative one shompraisesznd encourages and supports is a kind coach, or a helpful counsellor.

    posters have written here about an encouraging voice, a You can do it yes you can voice. Those kind voices coexist and I am hopeful one day I will hear one.

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