Thanks Croix and Shelley anne
I understand Croix how these simple things are difficult to do if our mental health is low. Its getting ourselves back to a point of having the motivation to take on new challenges. I'm pleased to hear that you had an unconditional loving partner who encouraged you to take on something new. I can only imagine how hard that would have been for you. Sort of like taking tiny steps only and not trying to work out the whole thing on day one.
Sort of like where I'm at today. Not a particularly good day for me, a rough night last night where my mind went in 101 different directions thinking about things from the past that I didn't want to think about. I'm feeling today that I'm slowly slipping back into 'the dark hole' and I'm determined I'm not going back there. I'm in my autumn years and in a fairly new relationship ( 2 years), but currently we aren't living together until our house is built, which is only months away. Of course now I'm getting the heeby jeebies, the 'what ifs?', the ''look what happened before in past relationships", and "maybe I should just accept that I'm damaged goods and just dont do relationships, so maybe less pain if I just go solo for the rest of my years?".... Yep I've been there before and I know they are just thoughts, but today I admit I'm scared, scared of a lot of things that are happening in my life currently and feel like I just need to 'get away' on my own for a short break to get my head right!
Which then brings me to the 3rd thing I wrote in my first thread 'something to look forward to'. Shelley Anne I hope you give this some thought as to what fills your tank? But I can assure you it will give you a lift and thats what we all need sometimes!
I told my partner this morning that I've decided on going a on short break by myself, somewhere not too far away, an AIR bnb or similiar where I'll b distracted. This is whats worked for me in the past. It clears my head, clears the grey clouds in my head away so I can see the blue again. Do some window shopping retail therapy, watch a movie, have coffee by myself somewhere interesting where I can watch the world. I'll be in touch with my dear partner so he will know where I am. It still comes under the category of 'something to look forward to'. I'd really like to start up studying again, even at my vintage, however just not in the right frame of mind, I am moving in with someone again and building a new house, plus a new part time job..Lots to do!