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Forums / Staying well / Three things to do that help happiness!

Topic: Three things to do that help happiness!

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. ladybird22
    ladybird22 avatar
    23 posts
    21 September 2019

    I once read three simple lines and by following a simple strategy I found I had more joy inside and for me thats vital. You've probably read this before but maybe not put it into practice maybe.

    We ALL need;

    1. Something to do

    2. Someone to love

    3. Something to look forward to

    Lately Ive been slipping backwards and I started to wonder what Im doing differently than I did a couple of years ago. I currently have a lot of changes and unsettling stressful things to get through, but I find if I basically have the above three things it keeps me on the straight road going forward.

    "Everybody" needs something to do and preferably somethings that brings us joy...

    Not everyone has someone to love infortunately, but there's a pet maybe (even a goldfish or a budgie?). If mot a family member then somone out there who needs your love?

    Something to look forward to is just so important, its what gets me up in the morning. It might not be a holiday to Europe, but it could be a night away to somewhere entirely different, even by yourself.. It could be creating a garden, meeting up for a coffee with someone or even just attending a group meeting that you didnt want to go to and were going to pass up?

    Has anybody else given these three basic principles a try?

    Personally I find that when these three things are in place in my life, I seem to handle all of lifes "other problems" far better....

    Id be interested in hearing others stories...😊

    4 people found this helpful
  2. Croix
    Community Champion
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    Croix avatar
    10382 posts
    22 September 2019 in reply to ladybird22

    Dear Ladybird22~

    I think you are right, at least it is a sign of recovery or wellness when one can realize these three things.

    I was invalided out of my occupation with PTSD, depression and anxiety, and was not good. I was in part divorced from myself, having no idea if I loved anyone, or if in fact I was capable of it at all. I had no hope, nothing to look forward to as I'd been told my condition was permanent and I'd not work again. similarly I had nothing to do, my full, busy and responsible life had vanished. (I was rather naive and beleive everything i was told by the medical profession without question)

    As it happened I was loved, I had a capable and strong caring partner who, in time was able to persuade me to take up a course of study. This I did at first with indifference, however as time went on study became an occupation, with a new identity for me -student. Things to look forward to: (not necessarily with delight) were deadlines for assignments and exams. Plus increasingly the interaction wiht the other students and staff.

    As time passed and my accomplishments grew my sense of self started to return until I was back both giving and receiving love.

    It was the restoration of those three facets of life that marked my improvement.


    2 people found this helpful
  3. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7383 posts
    23 September 2019 in reply to ladybird22

    Hello ladybird

    Thankyou for posting this. I have never heard of the 3 principles before. Something to do, someone to love and something to look forward to. I can see how the first 2 would help us. Because it helps us to take our eyes of ourselves. I am not certain about anyone else, but if I keep looking at how sad I may feel, how rejected I feel, well I just dwell in all that and I seem to get worse. The looking forward to something is laking in my life I think. I will give that some more thought as to what I can do.

    3 people found this helpful
  4. ladybird22
    ladybird22 avatar
    23 posts
    23 September 2019 in reply to Shelll

    Thanks Croix and Shelley anne

    I understand Croix how these simple things are difficult to do if our mental health is low. Its getting ourselves back to a point of having the motivation to take on new challenges. I'm pleased to hear that you had an unconditional loving partner who encouraged you to take on something new. I can only imagine how hard that would have been for you. Sort of like taking tiny steps only and not trying to work out the whole thing on day one.

    Sort of like where I'm at today. Not a particularly good day for me, a rough night last night where my mind went in 101 different directions thinking about things from the past that I didn't want to think about. I'm feeling today that I'm slowly slipping back into 'the dark hole' and I'm determined I'm not going back there. I'm in my autumn years and in a fairly new relationship ( 2 years), but currently we aren't living together until our house is built, which is only months away. Of course now I'm getting the heeby jeebies, the 'what ifs?', the ''look what happened before in past relationships", and "maybe I should just accept that I'm damaged goods and just dont do relationships, so maybe less pain if I just go solo for the rest of my years?".... Yep I've been there before and I know they are just thoughts, but today I admit I'm scared, scared of a lot of things that are happening in my life currently and feel like I just need to 'get away' on my own for a short break to get my head right!

    Which then brings me to the 3rd thing I wrote in my first thread 'something to look forward to'. Shelley Anne I hope you give this some thought as to what fills your tank? But I can assure you it will give you a lift and thats what we all need sometimes!

    I told my partner this morning that I've decided on going a on short break by myself, somewhere not too far away, an AIR bnb or similiar where I'll b distracted. This is whats worked for me in the past. It clears my head, clears the grey clouds in my head away so I can see the blue again. Do some window shopping retail therapy, watch a movie, have coffee by myself somewhere interesting where I can watch the world. I'll be in touch with my dear partner so he will know where I am. It still comes under the category of 'something to look forward to'. I'd really like to start up studying again, even at my vintage, however just not in the right frame of mind, I am moving in with someone again and building a new house, plus a new part time job..Lots to do!

    1 person found this helpful
  5. PatienceBay
    PatienceBay avatar
    131 posts
    23 July 2020 in reply to ladybird22

    Thanks for sharing this, ladybird22.

    I could really relate, and it made me feel less alone.

  6. PatienceBay
    PatienceBay avatar
    131 posts
    23 July 2020 in reply to ladybird22

    OK, gonna give this a try and see how it goes.

    1. Something to do

    Twenty minutes of yoga per day.

    2. Someone to love

    My immediate family.

    3. Something to look forward to

    Moments of deep peace during meditation. Animals, babies, sunshine, grass smell, sky above me, the feeling of my bare feet contacting the earth.

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