Nice to hear from you again although for the reason. Yes, giving up control of yur life is a huge thing. Doesn't help when I say you are not giving up that much because that's not how you see it. I too get cranky when I find medical people discussing me. It's easier when I know why and I feel it's a good reason. Recently two oncologists were talking about me and the diagnosis of a melanoma. After more tests it was decided I did not have a melanoma (phew) but I wondered what they had discussed. It felt odd to know I was the subject of discussion but not know what was said. Yes it made me feel I had lost control of myself.
I suppose the point is when is it reasonable for someone or two to talk about us and when is it gossip. I have tried to not get upset when I feel the conversation is unjustified which is hard. I am teaching myself to look at these things a little more objectively but of course my emotions get in the way. I think I am getting better at this and was grateful (wow) that the oncologists had that conversation. So not always a bad thing. It does depend on your previous experiences how upsetting this can be. Have you discussed a way to resolve how reasonable or not a conversation is about you? i wonder if you have been able to talk about this to your psych.
I have no real answers to your problem other than that you give the MH people no reason for their discussions. And yes I understand this can be even more difficult. I do encourage you perhaps set boundaries for yourself about reacting to your perceived loss of control. when is it OK to be upset and when not.
Despite my ideas I do get how this whole topic impinges on your life and the origins of this. I suspect your MH people do understand but are at a loss why it is so important to you. Have you talked about these horrible experiences to them? Yes another letting go of control.
Sophie gave you some phone numbers for when you feel particularly bad. Do you find it easier to talk to a stranger? The people at the Suicide Call Back Service are fantastic. Perhaps you could set up some online counselling or simply speak to whoever is answering the phone about your experiences.
Love to hear from you again.