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Forums / Suicidal thoughts and self-harm / Do you have a safety plan?

Topic: Do you have a safety plan?

  1. White Rose
    Community Champion
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    White Rose avatar
    6069 posts
    18 May 2020 in reply to yggy

    Hello Yggy

    Nice to hear from you again although for the reason. Yes, giving up control of yur life is a huge thing. Doesn't help when I say you are not giving up that much because that's not how you see it. I too get cranky when I find medical people discussing me. It's easier when I know why and I feel it's a good reason. Recently two oncologists were talking about me and the diagnosis of a melanoma. After more tests it was decided I did not have a melanoma (phew) but I wondered what they had discussed. It felt odd to know I was the subject of discussion but not know what was said. Yes it made me feel I had lost control of myself.

    I suppose the point is when is it reasonable for someone or two to talk about us and when is it gossip. I have tried to not get upset when I feel the conversation is unjustified which is hard. I am teaching myself to look at these things a little more objectively but of course my emotions get in the way. I think I am getting better at this and was grateful (wow) that the oncologists had that conversation. So not always a bad thing. It does depend on your previous experiences how upsetting this can be. Have you discussed a way to resolve how reasonable or not a conversation is about you? i wonder if you have been able to talk about this to your psych.

    I have no real answers to your problem other than that you give the MH people no reason for their discussions. And yes I understand this can be even more difficult. I do encourage you perhaps set boundaries for yourself about reacting to your perceived loss of control. when is it OK to be upset and when not.

    Despite my ideas I do get how this whole topic impinges on your life and the origins of this. I suspect your MH people do understand but are at a loss why it is so important to you. Have you talked about these horrible experiences to them? Yes another letting go of control.

    Sophie gave you some phone numbers for when you feel particularly bad. Do you find it easier to talk to a stranger? The people at the Suicide Call Back Service are fantastic. Perhaps you could set up some online counselling or simply speak to whoever is answering the phone about your experiences.

    Love to hear from you again.


  2. ktac1689
    ktac1689 avatar
    9 posts
    19 May 2020 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hi Sleepy,

    I was a little confused when reading the last past but your second message cleared that up. Thank you for replying anyway, appreciate it.

  3. yggy
    yggy avatar
    554 posts
    19 May 2020 in reply to White Rose

    Hi Sophie_M

    Thank you for checking in. I sometimes contact SCBS, but they are just really hard to get hold off. Other ones I don't really find helpful or am scared of talking to.

    Hi Mary

    Thank you for your reply. I don't know a solution about the control issue. It makes sense what you're saying, but when I try to put some sense or objectivity into my thoughts, I get even more confused. I don't think I can do that right now, I don't feel well enough to get more confused. I'll try to be back some other time when I can think more straight. I'll be ok I have appts today.

  4. yggy
    yggy avatar
    554 posts
    23 May 2020 in reply to yggy
    I’ve realised that there are only a couple of little things listed in my ‘what I can do to help myself’ section in my prevention plan and they’re not really a strategy to crawl out of the hole. Not a good thing, I need them, can’t think straight.
  5. Aaronsis
    Community Champion
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    Aaronsis avatar
    1616 posts
    23 May 2020 in reply to yggy

    Hey yggy

    I hope you don't mind me coming to chat to you, I just noticed what you said that you have realised that your safety plan is not up to date and that is actually a really great realisation. That means that you now have to option to do some work in this space and to think about what you do need and what works for you. This is really great and very powerful too, anything that helps is a help...sorry if that is cheesy.

    I am wondering if you have seen or used the Beyond Blue app which is called BeyondNow..I will put a link here for you:

    The really great thing is with this too is that you can get some help to fill in it if you need to and also provides a good tool for others who are close to you to know what you need and how best to support you, which is really great as it gives you the support you need but also lets the ones you love feel like they are actually helping.

    If you need some help to fill it in you can also call Beyond Blue and chat to one of the team too who can walk you through this and talk with you about some ideas.

    Also times are a little different now with physical distancing and COVID rules so what you have done in the past to stay safe and to get support might not be possible right now so it is good to think about what else you could do and to update the plan so it is current and relevant to you right now.

    Huge hugs to you yggy and I am really pleased to hear you have acknowledged that your plan needs updating, well done to you.



    1 person found this helpful
  6. Sleepy21
    Valued Contributor
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    Sleepy21 avatar
    663 posts
    23 May 2020 in reply to ktac1689

    Hi Ktac - no problem. Did read your post and related to it.
    In lockdown i can imagine many struggle more with SH
    it's a hard time, hope you are okay. send you support.

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