(copied from your closed thread)
I've read your posts and admire your ability to not
only overcome mental and practical difficulties, enduring the horrible,
but at the same time giving sensible advice to others here in the Forum.
One thing you said that I particularly liked:
"Just remember your life is not over. You are SO young and you have so much in front of you. You've made it this far"
You yourself are around 21 I think , so your phrase fits you too.
Now the new years evening will be over. It would have
been a horrible time for you and must have seemed endless sitting
in the corner, surrounded by strangers and trapped as your father had
the transport. I always avoided parties with strangers, still do.
You have had a bad year, living away from home, which might have
sounded attractive and having a job, only to find your housemates were
toxic and you had to leave your job to return home. Did your bond come
The nightmare of moving, especially with a bad foot and practical difficulties is I'd imagine over except for unpacking the
things you need.
From the sound of it living back at home is as bad as before -which prompted you to leave in the first place.
OK, so you have several things in front of you to overcome, all of
which you have done before -and where your solutions have not worked out
well then you will recognize the danger signals and it can be smoother
Getting new medical support, a place to live and a job are all things you have proved you can do.
If you try to leave to one side the toxic nature of your current
circumstances (no, not easy at all) then what do you think should be
your first thing to get out the way?
I know if it was me I'd try for support, and that is partly medical
and partly personal. with the medical it may help you with the self
harm. I can understand why you try to cope that way, but it is so
dangerous, though I'm not going to go on about that now. I do know that
talking to the Suicide Call Back Service (as Sophie mentioned) can
sometimes help a lot.
You may think different and go for job seeking as the main thing.
It's your decision decided on as the person on the spot who knows what's
Is there anyone in your family or friends you can talk to who is on
your side? They don't have to fix anything, just be a person to talk to
who does not judge and simply cares?
Of course here you will always find understanding, care and fresh perspectives