In the last 3 years ive lost my mother to cancer, I’ve had breast cancer, a frozen shoulder, chronic lymphodema, my youngest child has ADHD and oppositional defiance Disorder and amongst this my so called husband and have not had a sexual relationship in 7 years. He says I am angry and bitter and that’s why he’s no longer attracted to me but maybe I am) but on top of everything that has happened as well as suffering from severe depression I feel quite disliked and rejected as a woman and feel like he treats me like one of the children. I’m so lost between the cancer and the sexual rejection that I don’t know what to think. Part of me feels like I deserve an adulr relationship and part of me thinks I should end it all as clearly I’m a horrible person.

Welcome to the forums, Kate40, we are so glad that you've taken a big step in sharing your thoughts and feelings here with us. It sounds like there is so much happening for you at the moment, which seems like it would be really overwhelming. 

Please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to talk things through and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need. Until others can respond, you are more than welcome to get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service, as they may be able to offer some immediate support. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. 

As well as this, we would strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). 

We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it

Hi Kate40 welcome to the forums and making such a brave first post.It sounds you are going through a lot.I can relate to a lot of it,I have lost my mum in the last few years and I am battling health problems and have a son with ADHD as well as he has autism and have a fighter with Asperger's and selective mutism and other health problems.I can't have a sex life due to medical reasons.I have depression with anxiety.I just want you to know you are not alone with what you are going through and it will improve over time.You are definately not a horrible person just someone struggling at the moment .I am sorry about your husband not wanting you.Have you talked to your doctor about depression and about everything going on with your husband.I tell my doctor everything though it was ok hard at first.You have been through so much and you are worth fighting for yourself.
Take care,
Mark.

It sounds like you've been through a lot and really don't need more on your plate right now, as far as your relationship, I think that's a decision you need to make on your own. Think about what kind of future you want for yourself and who that includes. Do what you think will make you happy in the long term. It's hard with kids but you also need to think about yourself.