High school is hard and I am not sure how you are finding home schooling but if you are like my two kids (17 and 14) they are not coping that well. They feel disconnected from friends and also have lost interest in attending classes online, it is really hard to get them to engage and I am sure that the teachers find it hard too. It is just a tough situation to be in. How are you finding home schooling?
Lockdown is nothing that we have done before so we are all trying to accept this way of living and find ways of coping. It is that much harder when the things you used to love don't interest you anymore, I started to paint, while I am not very good at it it was fun and it totally took my attention and I actually really loved it. I think it is just trying a few things until something sticks with you, even if it is just for a day.
Have you been able to connect with any of your friends, FaceTime or even just on SnapChat? I know it is not the same but a chat from time to time might help to ease some of the "friend" anxiety too. I am not sure if that is something that is happening for you but my daughter is going through questioning if her friends still like her and if they want to still be her friend, and I get that as she hasn't seen them for so long and it is hard to try to get her to connect as she is fearing rejection.
It is a great place to come and to chat here, there is some level of comfort in being anonymous and to be able to share things that you would maybe feel uncomfortable to say or to share to someone you know. In saying that though if you are struggling with suicidal thoughts being able to talk to a person who can support you is very important too. Kids Helpline also have a web based chat service that you may also find really helpful too if you wanted to share some things there with a professional. I will put the link here for you:
How has living in a big household been for you? Are there siblings that you could play a board game with or even bake with or play a video game with? Maybe not but maybe!
Great to chat to you some more and am around if you would like to chat too.