I'm 36. I have bipolar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder. I'm medicated for both. I have 3 kids and a loving partner, however I am the sole income provider. I do this now because I know I have the most earning potential between us, but if things went really bad, I don't know how we'd pay the bills. My son died in 2013, so I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread... But what I'd really like is to say "I can't do this anymore" and it eventuate in me not having to be the income provider, or if I just ended my life, because my children would still have their biological parents to go to. (No kids by my current partner, but we've been together since the baby was 2.

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums MelelmOo, 

Thank you for having the strength to reach out and share your journey with us here. We acknowledge that this isn't always an easy thing to do. We're so sorry to hear about the loss of your son in 2013. We can't imagine how painful this must be. We can also hear that you hold a lot of responsibility in your family and that this causes you a great deal of stress. We want you to know that we're here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

Our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we are worried about you.

We hope you know that there is always help available to you. Can we ask if you are you currently receiving mental health support? If not, we would urge that you do seek professional support to help you work through these thoughts that you're experiencing. If you are not sure of how to access mental health support, please contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport.

We're really grateful that you decided to reach out here tonight. Hopefully, a few of our community members will come by to welcome you to our friendly online community. 
   

MelelmOo

Welcome to this forum , a. very supportive place.

You are so strong , I can not imagine what you have suffered since the death of your son,

I have bipolar and 3 children, and I think you are amazing to work .

Is it possible to work part time, to give yourself less pressure.

I am glad you can be honest.

Have you had grief counselling?

There is a thread This bipolar life so you may like to have a look. We are a friendly supportive bunch.

Your are a mother to your partners children .

Thanks for reaching out. I will like to hear more if you want to.

Hi MelelmOo,

I am really sorry to hear things have been so difficult. I cannot imagine how painful losing a child must be. It sounds like you are in a pretty dark place at the moment. I am glad that you have got the support of a loving partner - does he know how overwhelmed you are and how much you have been hurting? Is there anyone else in your life (family/friend/GP/therapist) who you feel able to get support and advice from? You have been through so much, and to work full-time on top of managing your mental health and three children must be stressful. Do you feel burnt out? Have you been able to take any time off to recharge and reassess how everything is going?

We are here to listen as and when you feel up to talking - please do not hesitate to chat. Take care MelelmOo.