Hello apeMan
I wanted to welcome you and thank you for sharing your experience with an attempt, I am sure that was very hard to post and very emotional as well, but I hope in some small way it was helpful to you also. Sharing here is such a powerful part of recovery I have found.
I have not made an attempt on my life, but I am the survivor of suicide in that I lost my brother in July of 2019, he was 19 years old. He is the very reason I am here today on the Beyond Blue forum and apart of this supportive and caring community. I hope that you too can receive the love and support from others as you rebuild your way back from this.
I wanted to share with you a link, that is on the Beyond Blue page, it is to a service called the "Way back support service", it has a booklet and some information that might be some help to you:
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide-prevention/after-a-suicide-attempt/the-way-back-support-service
There will be others too that join in your conversation to chat about what they are doing to try to connect back to life after such a traumatic and horrific emotional journey, I have no idea how that must feel but I am so proud of you for choosing you each day, even as you say "I'm trying to be there for my son"..one reason is sometimes all it can take to turn things around.
I would like to chat to you some more and find out how you are going and what things you are doing each day, however small to feel something, exercise as you mentioned is wonderful along with the support from your mental health team too, I am so proud of you for seeking this support.
I too am a huge believer in practicing being grateful as we really do have so much to be thankful for and it is hard to see that sometimes, even harder to feel, but with being mindful of these things it does help I have found.
During my time of grief I have found joy in painting and in writing, I wrote the most honest and raw journal and I would never show anyone, but it was not for anyone else, just for me to purge some of the feelings I was having, it really did help.
Welcome again apeMAN, I am so proud of you for sharing here, for letting us know about your daily struggles and I hope that you can get the hand that you need here to help you put of this time.
Hope to chat to you some more
Hugs
Sarah