I thought maybe first time it happened it was a mistake but today again it happened & this is like the fourth or fifth time in as many short months. I was meant to meet up with my counsellor today for a face to face but again she was a no show & still unable to get in contact with her. So it's gotta be me I'm sure not everyone can have this much bad luck with holding onto & being this accepting & forgiving of toxic people. I am feeling like an expert doormat. So I have over thought all afternoon it's gotta be me I am a burden a complete waste of space I have to be I must be invisible. And this isn't the first counsellor to ghost or ditch me so why the heck do I bother why should I keep trying when I am fully aware & I can see I am simply not worth anything. I am absolutely unworthy for this miserable existence. I never would've thought my mediocre tragic sad story would turn this many professionals away from me. They say they are here for me give me space are holding their hands out to support me yet again turning away from me moving the goal posts yet again taking their hand back ignoring & ghosting me. I am holding onto life by a sliver most days & days like today wished I had already gone. I hate me

Dear Kombie390,

We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community this morning and are so sorry to hear everything you have going on at the moment. Times like this can definitely get overwhelming . We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you. 

We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
Keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it. 
Dear, Chumptastic
 

Hi Kombie390,

Im sorry you are feeling this way…

Im sorry your councillor was unable to see you for your appointment……. I’m sure it’s not you……… I’m sure there is a really valid reason why they canceled.

You are very worthy and you deserve to be here on this earth….

Please tell yourself good things about yourself…..

Im here to chat

My counsellor didn't cancel she never showed up. I must see I don't deserve well not in this life anyway. I don't belong