Hello Dear Nat..
A very warm and caring welcome to our forums...
You have done so well with 10 months alcohol free...I have never really been a drinker but my father was and I think I can understand how hard that would have been...
Starting meds again after a few months of them..is like starting again for the first time....The meds do take about 6-8 weeks to do the job the are supposed to do, with side effects being hard to manage at times,,,
Maybe if you can...reach out to your Dr and let them know that of how your feeling and the suicidal thoughts..You’re Dr. will be able to help you through this transition of starting meds again.,,,I think it’s a good idea to let your Dr. know how your trying to manage with taking your meds again..
Your so right, that it’s depression making you feel like you have failed...In my eyes lovely Nat..you are a winner, giving up alcohol and having that want of beating depression is huge...
Nat..depression doesn’t discriminate who it takes... We don’t pick depression to visit us..it picks who ever it wants to visit..even if you have the happiest life ever..if depression wants you it will visit you...So Please dear lovely Nat...try hard not to feel guilty because you have nothing to be guilty about..,,
We are here for you, and will try to support you the best we can, with our lived experience, our insight and our care..
Kind thoughts dear Nat..