Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, we're really glad you've found your way to our community and we hope we can talk through some of these concerns and experiences.
From your description it sounds like you could have OCD, however, we think it's important to discuss this with a mental health professional as they are the most qualified person to make this determination. Is there anything that would make you feel more comfortable to share what you've been experiencing with your mum or a GP?
If you feel up to it, we'd encourage you to reach out to our Beyond Blue Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport
. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.
It sounds as though you are needing some support and we want you to know that there is help available to you. We are sending you a private message with some extra support. We hope to hear back from you.