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Forums / Suicidal thoughts and self-harm / Is it.. normal to want to die

Topic: Is it.. normal to want to die

10 posts, 0 answered
  1. Forrest_123
    Forrest_123 avatar
    33 posts
    5 November 2020
    I heard somewhere that everyone has thoughts about killings themselves at some point in their life. So I don’t know if it’s actually a problem that I want to die. I’m currently in grade 9. Is it normal to be thinking about death every day since grade 7?
  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6133 posts
    5 November 2020 in reply to Forrest_123
    Hi Forrest_123,

    Thanks for reaching out tonight. It sounds like you've been having thoughts about wanting to die for a couple of years, and we're sorry to hear that you've been feeling this way. Having thoughts of suicide or wanting to die can be painful and difficult to manage, so it's important that you get some support to help you through this. Please know that there is lots of support available to you.

    Can we ask if you have you told any of your family members or friends about these thoughts? We would recommend that you share these thoughts with a trusted person. This could be a family member, a friend, a teacher or school counsellor, doctor or other health professional. You may want to get in touch with Kids Help Line as a first step. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. The counsellors are really understanding, and may also be able to give you some tips on discussing how you're feeling with a family member or school counsellor.

    If at any time you become a danger to yourself, please know that this is an emergency and you need to contact 000 (triple zero). 

    Many of our members have felt similar and will be able to talk through these feelings with you. If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best help you get through this tough period.
  3. Jacks101
    Jacks101 avatar
    10 posts
    5 November 2020
    I think about death of my body and leaving this world behind constantly I have no life can’t work I’m a burden to my wife no hope I’m ever going to get well again so with all that being said yes I’m obsessed about it to a degree anybody would be , not to suggest you should take your life . Just my deepest thoughts
  4. mocha delight
    mocha delight  avatar
    546 posts
    5 November 2020 in reply to Forrest_123
    Hi forrest yes I went through a stage were in my extremely patchy weight loss journey that I had gotten to day 3 of getting on the treadmill for 30 minutes each day and it was at point that I started to think that way plus I always ended up pushing to much as well. And I’ve recently started getting back on the treadmill after quite a bit of a break & even though this time I’m only doing 10 minutes and with the same 3 days in a row my mind is going back to that dark place again. So I don’t know why but exercise for me is having the complete opposite effect on me then it should do but just like getting on a treadmill and/or even doing 10 minutes is making my mind go back to that dark place.
  5. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6133 posts
    5 November 2020 in reply to Jacks101
    Hi Jacks, thanks for contributing to the forum. It sounds like you are going through a challenging time. We have reached out to you privately for some extra supports. Please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to talk things through and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need.
    1 person found this helpful
  6. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    geoff avatar
    15561 posts
    5 November 2020 in reply to Forrest_123

    Hello Forrest_123 and Jacks101, a very honest question and it's always sad to hear of people thinking about this, but the thought and it's severity changes from the age you are and definitely the situation you maybe facing and become more complex and involved due to the different circumstances you have to confront.

    So a married person with children would be much more complicated than a young person at school, simply because health issues, financial strain, legal problems, trauma or relationship trouble are more serious and involved, although if you are young, the problems they are having are gigantic to them, and on face value to them they certainly are.

    As you grow older you begin to know what's happening, your emotions and your personality are different, slightly or not and develop new ideas, new partners and your mood will change from circumstance to circumstance.

    Maybe it's true that we wonder what life would be like when we aren't here any more.

    Take care.


    1 person found this helpful
  7. therising
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    therising avatar
    2308 posts
    5 November 2020 in reply to Forrest_123

    Hi Forrest_123

    I think this is a very valid question and one that requires great thought, care and attention.

    I believe 'under the circumstances' to be 3 highly relevant words in this case. So, you could say that for someone who is suffering deeply in life, yes it is normal. During my years in depression, it was normal for me at times to have that thought about leaving. Keeping those 3 words in mind, it is also normal under the circumstances of things beginning to change that those thoughts about dying lessen until they are no longer there.

    Do you feel you know what needs to change in order for life to appear different? Do you think under the circumstances of greater self esteem or your parents listening to you and guiding you through this deeply challenging time life would feel different? Do you think that school is dictating your possibly depressing circumstances? Let's be honest, school can be pretty depressing and stressful. My son is also in year 9 this year. He and I have had to do a lot of work together to help him make it through what, so far, has been one of the toughest years of his life. Personal skill development definitely dictates our circumstances.

    I can't help but wonder what is it about your circumstances that you find deeply challenging? Not sure if it will help to know but I'll throw it out there anyway:

    Very few of us, as kids, are given or taught the skill set involved in 'rising through challenges'. When you think about it, this doesn't really happen. Kind of crazy in a way, hey. We're kind of left to work things out as we go along in life, winging it. Some challenges may take us days to work out, weeks or even years. We can be left not knowing how to deal with the challenges we face, leading us to ask the question 'What's wrong with me?' In truth there may be nothing wrong with us; what's wrong is...we have been left to face challenges without the skills involved in mastering them.

    I hope you feel free to come back anytime. You are more than welcome in returning here. Take care :)

  8. Helarctus
    Helarctus avatar
    116 posts
    5 November 2020 in reply to Forrest_123

    Hello Forrest_123 ,

    Yes, it is normal to spend some time thinking about death and dying as a subject.

    When, why and how much time each of us spends thinking about it is where the concern can be raised. If there has been a recent passing of a loved one, friend or even a pet it can raise questions about the universe and our existence. Other times it can be part of a growing awareness of the world and the suffering that is occurring locally or even internationally.

    Some of us tend to linger longer and deeper in that moment than others, which isn't always as good for ourselves.

    The good news is that this means you likely have more empathy, that is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others and this is something the world needs more of. People listening, feeling and understanding each other.

    This forum is full of people who have had similar experiences in their own lives that is an incalculably valuable resource. There are references and links to professional services that can help with more specific options if you feel the need to discuss these types of thoughts and questions deeper.

  9. Jacks101
    Jacks101 avatar
    10 posts
    6 November 2020 in reply to Sophie_M
    Thankyou I am going through a really rough time at the moment with no real answers to get me to live a bit more of a life
  10. Forrest_123
    Forrest_123 avatar
    33 posts
    28 November 2021 in reply to Helarctus
    Turns out I was just severely depressed and had anxiety, emetophobia and adhd underlying it all.

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